Tape • NH

24

Chapter Twenty Four, The Moment (no conversation)

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I honestly felt like I was walking on the clouds and just floating. Every single moment felt like that. I was in this indescribable paradox that didn't make sense, but I was enjoying it. My heart constantly felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and my mind had trouble focusing on anything except Carmen. She was all I could think about, but what made this time different was that I finally gained the courage to make a move and that had me soaring.

Today would go down in history as one of the biggest days of my life... well, so far.

I managed to keep Adrian at bay and stay locked in my room while watching The Breakfast Club rather loudly. It was a simple plan to convince my parents that I was there with him because they both know how much we love the movie. Being that it was after dinner, my dad was finishing up last minute things for his work and my mom was probably in her office triple checking to make sure she didn't have work left to do. I was safe to leave the house for an hour, and that was all the time I needed.

With my heart threatening to escape from my chest, I slipped out into the backyard with a pair of my mom's brand new gardening shears that she claimed she would use but never had. I walked to the retaining wall and used the light from my phone to guide me to one of the rose bushes. As I stared at the flowers, I realized how hard choosing the perfect flower would be. Some were slightly wilted, some were wilted and dead-looking, some were still trying to bloom, and some just looked way too open and big. I was trying to find the kind of rose you see the guys giving girls in movies and tv shows, but I couldn't find that picture-perfect flower to save my life.

I was growing frustrated and that high feeling I once had was diminishing by the second. I felt my hopes for the best leave and expectations of the worst hitting me face on. I needed this rose. I would die if I didn't find it. Okay, I wouldn't exactly die, but I would be devastated. The hour was ticking away and I was close to giving up when, hidden shyly in the back, I found the perfect flower peeping at me amongst the leaves of the bushes. Letting out a heavy sigh and taking a deep breath right after to calm my rapidly beating heart, I reached out towards it with the shears to cut its stem.

Careful movements never crossed my mind because as I reached my hand inside the bush, I felt the larger thorns scratch at my fingers and hand. I sucked in a sharp breath as the stinging sensation from the broken skin hit me and cursed stupid Adrian a million times as I continued to take hold of the stem with the shears and cut it free from the bush. After doing so, I pulled it free and with as much care as I had, I pulled out my hand and stared at it.

Now, it would make sense to admit that I put my phone in my mouth so I could shine the light on the rose bush and use both hands to take the flower out. So with both hands still being used, one to hold the flower and the other the shears, I moved my hand around and my head to get the light on my hand well enough to see that I had small cuts and red scratches scattered from my fingers to just past my wrist. I could think of all the questions that would be asked by the various people that would see it, but I brushed it aside for the fact that I still had to give the flower to Carmen. I made a mental note to kill Adrian when I would come back home.

I dropped the shears on the ground since my mom wouldn't question its absence any time soon, and pulled my phone out of my mouth and wiped off my drool. The hour was still ticking away and my heart sped just a beat faster thinking of the moment I would see Carmen and what her reaction would be to not only seeing me at her door, but what her reaction would be to the rose I would give her. I prayed she would like it because she had to like roses since she gave me one. With those thoughts on my mind, I hurried inside the house again and out the door without being seen by either of my parents.