𝓅𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝒶𝓃, 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 - woosan/(woohwa)

(𝟣𝟧) 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝓊𝓃 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝒸𝒶𝓅𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒽𝑜𝑜𝓀𝒿𝑜𝑜𝓃𝑔

"yeah. it was about accepting the fact that i was gay."

wooyoung leaned back on his now free hands, staring at the stars. "it took me a while to feel comfortable calling myself gay, and it really was not an easy journey. a lot of people somewhat romaticize the concept of being gay while others absolutely despise you and would probably... well to be real and blunt, hate crime you until you can't breathe."

san looked over at wooyoung with a worried look, but didn't say anything while the other boy continued. "i'm glad that i found friends that accept me and don't judge me for it, and that's exactly what i hated about myself when i discovered this unchangeable aspect of my life. the anticipated judgement... i feel like i could say for sure that every person part of the alphabet soup community at one point in their lives have wanted to be straight and that was basically all of my middle school years... simply just me mulling over and hating my life just for something i could not change."

the dark-haired boy sighed, beginning to fidget with his fingers. "i... one of the reasons why it took me a couple of years to finally be comfortable with calling myself gay is the stereotypes that come with that label. i personally hate doing anything feminine, i'm horrible with fashion, and i'd rather have friends of both gender than having only girls as friends... it sucks, because once i thought that labelling myself as gay meant i had to do those things. but... those are just stereotypes. i don't have to be those things if i don't want to."

wooyoung looked back up at san. "i'm finally happy with myself now... but it took years and i mean years. i once thought that my sexuality was a curse that ruined my life and that i would have to hide and conform myself into a straight person and be miserable for the rest of my life. now, i'm okay... though there are times i still wish to be normal because it's hard to find love. everyone around me is not like me, but i know someday... maybe i'll find someone that is just like me."

from those words, the dark-haired boy felt a deep, painful feeling of longing run through his heart like an icy river flowing through a dark cave. his mind briefly flashed to one of park seonghwa and how though he knew it was probably going to be only a temporary infatuation like all of the others, it still hurt knowing that he was reaching for something he could not grasp. it felt like he was reaching for the heavens when he was still deep in the pits of hell.

yet wooyoung tried to subside the painful feeling, plastering a smile on his face for san. he picked a flower that spawned from san's tears off of the ground, handing it to the pink-haired boy. "and that's what i meant by a long journey of acceptance. maybe you're still on the path, san, finding yourself or accepting things that are in the past or can't change are never short expeditions... but the treasure at the end, the beautiful reward of being able to be free and happy with that one thing... is so, so, so worth it, okay?"

san took the flower happily and reflected the other boy's smile, nodding slightly. "okay. maybe you're right. i think i am still on my journey... thank you so much, wooyoung. i've known you for so little yet you've helped me so much."

"of course."

suddenly the pink-haired boy let out a short yawn, giggling a bit at himself after. "maybe we should go and try to actually get some sleep. it's long gone the sunset by now."

wooyoung nodded, slowly standing up and brushing some loose dirt off of his pajama pants before helping san stand up too. "yeah, you're probably right. besides, i think i might finally be able to drift off to my dream world."

the two boys began to walk back to the lost boy's hideout, their footsteps alluringly beating in a consistent tempo.

"hey, wooyoung?"

wooyoung glanced over at the pink-haired boy, who was staring at the stars. "hm?"

"one more thing... make sure you won't become like me and run away from your fears and... make sure you also don't have any regrets. for your kindness, you deserve a happy life too, wooyoung."

a/n why does this chapter highkey make me feel sad. like i wrote this but when i reread it i teared up a little :( 

unedited