Happy Place || A Jerrie Fanfiction

XXXI - ALL TOO WELL

I have not seen someone panic as much as Liam did.

In a span of ten seconds, he had not only managed to shake his head so vehemently I'm scared it might fly off, but he had also practically vomited a string of incoherent words.

"I-I didn't say that," He chuckles nervously, and even snorts at that. The audacity. "What cemetery? Whaat?"

"Liam, I'm serious," I warn him. Leaning forward, I ask him again, "Why did Perrie go to a cemetery?"

Several thoughts were running through my head, and it was almost to the point of being invasive — was it her Mom that died? Her dad? Does she have relatives that passed away recently? Does . . . Does she have siblings aside from Caitlyn?

Maybe I shouldn't have left Leigh and Perrie alone back there. Maybe Leigh was right — I shouldn't have left, I should've stayed. I should've stayed and figured out what was wrong instead of backing off.

"Jade, I'm one of your biggest fans — me and Caitlyn both, and you know that." Liam spreads his arms placatingly, a nervous chuckle escaping his mouth. "But Perrie — Pez is my best friend. Why do you want to know, anyway? It's no big deal . . ."

The look on Liam's face tells me that it indeed is a big deal, and it makes me feel a bit bad for forcing the truth out of him, but I really needed to know why Perrie would go there.

I know that I certainly don't have the right to probe deeper into Perrie's life; I most certainly understand the concept of privacy as someone whose privacy is already being invaded every single day.

But if I want to be her person, why shouldn't I be with her through all of this?

"I just . . . ," I drag on, ruminating on what to say. I look down at my hands gripping each other. "I like Perrie. And I know that I don't have a right to poke around her life. But as someone who wants to be with her, I want to know everything about her. And I'm thinking that this is the way to start."

"But you're a celebrity," he says with a sharp tone that makes it seem like it's the most crucial thing in the world. "You have a demanding job."

I stare at him, wondering why he had to bring that up, but getting the feeling that it won't be good. "I . . . I do."

With an arched brow, he asks, "So, you're not staying here for good, then?"

I halt at his uneven tone. "I-I . . . No, I'm not. But I'll —"

"So, what makes you think you're good for her?" He pushes.

"Because I want to be," I finally snap. My hand curls into a fist and slams into the table with a soft but audible 'thud'. "I like her, Liam. More than I'd like to admit. And I wanna be there for her through the good times and the bad."

Liam's breath hitches and I quickly look away. Gazing down at my cheeseburger and fries did not do anything to appease me nor increase my appetite, but it did help in becoming a distraction because looking Liam in the eye seems difficult already. I don't want to see his reaction to my sudden explosion.

It only takes a few silent seconds, then I finally hear him sigh, "It's her mom."

With that, my eyes snap up to meet his with piqued curiosity.

His jaw is clenched along with his fists as if it was all he could do not to explode as well. But his eyes bore into mine regardless. "The other day was her death anniversary."

Hearing him say the last part, I could feel myself flinch a bit — something automatic and will potentially stay with me till the day I die, I figure. Those two words haunt me up to this day, and what's awful is that I don't think I can even escape them.