JASLY - STRUGGLE FOR LOVE

GROWING LOVE

After 2 weeks

____Jasmin____

Is it Sin to fall in love after marriage with another man ?

Yes , it is a big crime. After marriage, a wife’s duty is to be with her husband only , if she loves him or not that doesn’t matter. She has to be with him. Falling in love with another man is not less than a big sin for her.  In the eyes of society, it is a crime.

In my case also it was crime. I never cared about society that what they would think about me after knowing  that I was in love with my husband’s friend. But I always cared about Rahul because he had never given any reason to not love him. He was a perfect man. He was caring , loving and romantic. I thought that one day I would surely fall in love with him. I tried a lot but it never happened. Instead of falling in love with my husband, I started falling in love with his friend.

When Rahul introduced Aly with me that time i never thought one day I would start loving that person crazily. But that night , the hug changed everything. I hugged Aly , thinking that he was my husband. I was so happy to find peace and comfort in his arms after one year of our marriage. But I was completely shocked when I came to know that I felt secured and felt like home in the arms of Aly. Now the question was why ? Why this happened?

Things started getting changed from that day. I was finding the answer of my question and It was getting difficult for me to face him and control my feelings in front of him. Whenever he used to be around me , I used to feel like my heart would get explode any moment. I tried to be normal  but it was really difficult. He was doing something to me. I was attracting toward him like a magnet. I was losing control on my mind and heart. Day by day things were becoming more difficult. His presence was killing me. I won’t lie , I wanted to be with him badly. I wanted to feel safe in his arms.

I was feeling suffocation in my own husband arms and this killed me. The guilt was killing me from inside. I wanted to tell everything to Rahul because he didn’t deserve me , he deserved better than me. He deserved somebody who would love him the way he used to love me. But I didn’t want to break his heart. What was his fault? Loving me , was his mistake ?

Nobody was there with whom I could share that what I was going through. I wanted someone to show me the right path. Deep Inside from starting I knew that I was in love with him. I was running away from my feelings but my feelings never stopped chasing me. I tried to run but I always found him more close to my heart. My mind never stopped thinking about him all the day and night. It was crazy , it was wrong but nothing was in my control.

Two weeks passed away with the feeling of guilt and finding happiness in looking at Aly from far away.  I accepted the fact that he was not made for me  but I was trying to find my happiness in small small things.  His smile used to give peace to my heart. Our small conversations used to make my heart happy. I used to feel alive when our hands used to get touched with each other by mistake. I knew that this was wrong , this was completely wrong but heart and my mind were not in my control.

_____Aly____

I was falling in love with a girl. Is it wrong to fall in love ?

No , it is not wrong to fall in love.

But then why it became sin if that girl is married ? Is heart ask you before falling in love that girl is married or not ?

No , our heart doesn’t ask anything before falling in love. So then why it is crime ?

It was a sin  because I was falling for a girl who was married to my best friend. In simple words I was falling for a girl who was never made for me. Her soul , her body and her heart belonged to somebody else. I was having no right on her. Seeing her with somebody else everyday , I was feeling like somebody was hammering my heart constantly. It was hurting a lot. One side  guilt of falling for my best friends was killing me and other side pain of not getting what i needed was breaking me from inside.