Winter In The Shade | Sirius Black x Female Ravenclaw Reader

XV

Everything around you felt surreal. You weren't sure what you were supposed to do, so you did nothing. The mornings in the castle felt like a dream until the sleep wore off of your head and you remembered the look on Sirius's face when he explained everything, when he opened your eyes to the hard truth. It was every morning that you hugged your pillow tighter as you turned in your bed, burying your face in the soft material with your eyes closed shut. When you opened them again nothing changed and you got out of bed with a sigh and the weight of knowledge in your heart. Your house was known for the value you gave to knowledge and wisdom, but whoever had said that ignorance was happiness had been more wise than everyone dared to admit. You were now proving their theory true.

You wanted to go back to the days where Regulus' only fault was his serious and intimidating demeanor and your only worry was to make him smile and win in your small competitions. It was hard enough to have the knowledge you did now but to see him and still see your best friend was worse. You met him in the mornings in the empty corridors of the castle, the sun barely rising as you walked heavily to get to him. A weight in your heart making you slower as you dreaded the moment you got to see him, the moment where you will finally see him for the facts you knew were true.

But as soon as he heard your steps, turning in his spot with the smallest smile on his face as he waited for you, everything faded away. All the words you heard from him, all the words Sirius had spoken to you, every detail that shook you to the core turned to snow in the warmth of the sun, melting away to leave nothing behind. He would wish you a good morning and you would answer with a new remark every single day, making the smirk pull on his lips as you turned into a storm of retorts until you reached the Great Hall.

The sight of his softened features in your direction making every doubt erased from your mind. How could he be what you and Sirius accused him to be?

Not an accusation, said the little voice in the back of your head. The truth.

And still you had your best friend. Your family. Your one person who still made fun of you for speaking out loud, no matter if you were alone or with someone else, the person who would reach for the things you had to stand on your tiptoes to get, the one who represented a competition to your wit, your partner in every class, the one you shared meals with and chatted until your throat dried out. You woke up to meet him and went to bed with his voice being the last one you heard.

Not lately, though.

Lately you had been reflecting on how your life had changed in just a couple of months and you had barely noticed. You had been a wild student, that's for sure, driven by the rules that you found worthy breaking and the need to make Regulus live a little. Now you left hidden notes in the walls of the castle, brushed hands against warm skin on the crowded halls, shared careful looks from the opposite sides of the rooms you found yourselves in, sneaked out at night or even helped with pranks you only saw the disastrous results of.

Maybe you wished for time to go back for you and Regulus, but certainly not for you and Sirius.

Sirius Black. The boy who stole your breath from the moment he crashed against your body on the hallway while you went back to your common room from the kitchens. Maybe then it had been the fear of being caught and the quick heartbeat against your ribcage while he stood so close to you, a stranger and yet so familiar. Now as you stood next to him, the air blowing on his hair as he watched the sun go down for the day you could say he still managed to steal your breath in a different way. His grey eyes were focused far away from you, the sun reflected there as he took a deep breath in, his chest rising and falling once before his breathing evened. He had a charming smile on his face, not directed at anyone but himself and his own genuine feelings.