This cruel world [Levi Ackerman x Neko reader]

8.

And so we finally enter the office. The immediate tension of the atmosphere makes me almost stop breathing. Yet I follow captain, silently observing all of the people in the room.

"You can remove the hood." Levi flops onto a sofa. "These people are trustworthy."

I nod, doing as told, as light blue eyes follow my every move.

"She's the one you wrote about?" A deep voice, that immediately let's you know who's the authority, fills the room.

 "She is." Captain nods. Feeling a bit cautious of the blonde guy at the big office table, I stand next to the sofa where captain is sitting and immediately obey to sir Levi's command.

Concentration on the outside noises blurs out the conversation happening right in front of me. It is none of my concern what they're talking about. Today I must be the guard.

I hear the city calmly moving with it's life. Someone currently working at an open stall, someone cleaning the corridors just below this floor, a wagon, slowly passing through the road.

Nothing of suspicion so far.

I continue my work throughout the whole meeting. It was good luck that there was neither an ambush, nor a nearby spy.

"Lady (Y/n)" Mister Erwin,  if I remember his name correctly, addresses me. Even though I hear him, I do not answer.

I look over to him, but continue to observe the situation around the office.

"I would like you to participate in the next outing."

This catches both me and captain off guard. Or at least I could guess that by the way sir's hand that was holding a cup of tea stopped mid-air.

"She has yet to pick up the blades. She is not suited for an expedition."

"We lack manpower. If what you said about her is true, her skills will be useful outside." Erwin differs.

"You're asking (y/n) to die." A considerably loud thud doesn't let me speak up, as captain's tea spills out from the cup that was recklessly put on the table. "Going outside with no defense nor attack training. It is a suicide mission. We do not need another person's life on our shoulders when it is difficult to keep our own safe."

"(Y/n), what do you think?"

I stay silent. Captain's words are true. Even though being able to aid captain in battle sounds great, I am not ready yet.

"I will follow captain Levi's decision." my tail sways under the cape nervously. "I believe with my current skills, I would do more harm than good."

My ear flicks to the side as I pick up a new person's steps. They would sound ordinary by the pace, if they weren't more silent than the usual person's.

I bring my arm up, warning captain of the suspicious person, showing one finger as their number, when suddenly I hear a slight bump on the roof. I bring up another finger up. Now there's two.

All of us patiently wait in silence, awaiting their next move, however, they don't seem to plan on going away.

"As I said, your skills would be valuable." Suddenly Erwin speaks up, almost making me jump to show him to shut up since it is not safe, however, captain stops me.

"Do not engage. These two you found are not a threat." Captain says calmly as Erwin bangs on the back wall and suddenly the person from the roof can be heard jumping down.

Not soon after Mikasa and Petra enter the office, immediately saluting out of respect.

"Do not take this personally, it was my idea, not Levi's." Erwin tried explaining, yet I could feel a slight sting in my chest. 

This mission was a fake. Just a test. 

"I needed to make sure Levi would have a trustworthy person by his side."

"Yes, sir." I answer and lower my gaze. Even though this test was important, it felt bitter having my loyalty tested like this. I had hoped Levi would have trusted me enough by now to give me a mission, however, it was a fake.

"I leave the final decision of the expedition to you, (y/n)." Erwin's voice felt unpleasant at this point. It almost made me feel.. humiliated.

I silently nod and with this the meeting ends. It takes us almost half a day to go back to the headquarters and even when the castle finally reaches our sight, I still can't help but feel this bitter feeling in my chest.

"(Y/n), get off the horse. He's tired." Levi's voice snaps me out of a trance and I obediently jump off. I feel his strong gaze follow me as I realize that I did not answer.

"Yes.. sir.." I silently say, yet it feels forced.

"Eren, take him to the stables." Captain gives out last orders and starts walking towards the entrance of the headquarters. I hesitate, but finally decide to follow. "Let's have a talk in my office, (y/n)."

"Yes, sir." my answer brings out a sigh from captain, but he says nothing.

I silently follow him up the stairs and into his personal office. The corridors are barely lit with candles since it's already dark outside and almost creates a ghostly atmosphere.

"Take a seat." I do as I'm told and occupy a chair in front of captain's work desk. The door is soon closed gently and the black-haired man flops into the seat on the other side of the desk.

For a good minute we sit in silence, as he simply observes my presence.

"Did you hear what we talked about during the meeting today?" finally he speaks up, but the tension in the room only rises with each word.

"I did not dare, sir." I answer, trying my best to stay calm, but his gaze seems to read right through me. "I was ordered to listen what happens outside, not in the office."

Part of me wishes to be praised for my loyalty, yet something inside makes me itch. Does he even think I'm loyal?

"Eren Yeager is what is called a titan shifter." I feel confused. 

Why is he telling me this?

"He is under my responsibility to make sure he doesn't go out of control and, if he does, kill that bastard immediately."

I nod, trying to follow along. Titans. I barely know anything about them - only the facts that Hanji decided to share with me during my check ups with her.

"During our next expedition we are assuming an attack of another shifter."

My ears immediately perk up. That is sensitive information that, if leaked, would put tens of cadets in danger.

"Sir!" I jump out of my seat, astonished at how easily captain revealed this to me.

Black-haired man stays silent, calmly waiting out my outburst. Not getting a reaction from him, I fall back to my seat. Just why is he telling me this?

Is this his way of telling me that he trusts me enough to reveal this?

"If you decide to join us on the expedition, I am not going to stop you." his grey eyes connect with mine. "I believe it is you who should have a say in your own life."

This. This sentence awoke something within me. I freeze, overwhelmed by the sudden explosion of emotions within.

"Think about what it is you wish to do, (y/n)."

I.. I can decide?

It made no sense. Giving me, a mere slave a voice.

Sure, I expressed myself when I decided to follow captain Levi, however, it was a decision for my survival. It is always safest next to the strongest.

But this.. this feels different.

For now I need to collect my thoughts. Only then I will able to answer him.

I clench my arms into fists and confidently salute once again. This man. However numb to everyday life he may be - he is the one who gave me a chance. A chance to live again.

His words were like a breath of fresh air after this nonsense of a day.

Who could've thought that was all it took to make me feel alive again.