Empyrean Iris Story Collection Vol. 3

Unconscious Belief

"How can you be surprised about this. You told him this is what you wanted?"

Sunny leaned on the balcony railing looking over Arcadia's capital city, blue light filtered up from the nighttime parkways and lit her face with a dim glow.

"That was months ago, heat of the moment. I.... and I didn't actually think it was going to work."

Dzara stepped up to stand with her, resting a hand over one of hers. Sunny didn't look up as she continued to stare out at the sprawling city of Arcadia, blinking with a thousand glimmering colors, a city brought on by imagination, whimsy and good intentions in a way that few other cities could claim.

"I don't understand how could you think it wasn't going to work? This was shortly after they announced the first hybrid wasn't it?"

Sunny sighed and turned around stepping into the penthouse with a quiet sigh and taking a seat on the couch underneath the silver tree. She turned her head watching ripples spread out over the surface of the water feature surrounding the base of the tree. Behind it a curtain of water trickled quietly down the surface of the back wall, lit by gentle yellow light.

"Because I...." she struggled to find the words, opening and closing her mouth, restarting and returning again and again unable to put into words what ran through her mind, "It's hard to explain."

Dzara sat across from her, "And I'm here to listen. For as long as you need."

Sunny examined her sister where they sat across from each other. Their relationship had not started out on the best of terms. Dzara had been bitter towards Sunny and her human companions and Sunny had thought that her sister was a pompous control freak trying to force her way of life upon everyone else, but a lot fo things had changed since then.

Dzara's mood had markedly improved with the addition of her leg braces, and thus freedom of movement, and though Sunny hadn't changed nearly as much her life certainly had. She had more on her plate now, with more responsibility and worry, but in that time the three of them, her Dzara and Kanan had gotten closer , and now Sunny didn't just consider her once estranged sister, blood, but a friend as well.

Dzara was a good listener, and loyal in the way all friends should be.

Sunny rested her head in her hands, "When I was younger.... Our mother.... Told me in no uncertain terms that no one would ever chose me as battle partner. She made it pretty clear what she thought of me. She thought it would be a waste of genetics to procreate as any offspring I might have should be thrown into the fire." Dzara stared at her quietly and sunny sighed, "She was convinced that whatever "creatures" I birthed would have to be immediately cast into the fire anyway, so it was best just not to try. When.... That wasn't enough for her she told me that it was likely I couldn't have them anyway. I think she told me that because she was self-conscious about her own lack of children and..... well I believed her." Sunny looked up at the blue metallic leaves of the tree and sighed deeply closing her eyes and feeling the soft glow of the lanterns on her face.

"When someone repeats something to you for so long, it is hard not to believe them eventually. For all of my life, even after Adam and everything that has happened to us, there is still Kazna's voice somewhere deep down telling me that everything good I make will eventually crumble, that all I have is dreams and pretenses."

Dzara nodded along quietly, letting her speak.

They did not touch, not like a human might.

"At one point I convinced myself that I didn't want offspring anyway. I was convinced that..... that I was just going to end up like her, bitter and angry and controlling, so it was best if I didn't, and for years that has been battling inside me with the desire to have children and rub it in her face when I'm better than she is, but that's not a good enough reason to want to bring life into this world .In fact it's a horrible reason." She threw up her hands, "And then if that wasn't enough, when Adam came along I was convinced that since our species were different, offspring would never be possible anyway, and I had long ago accepted the reality and convinced myself I didn't want it and couldn't have it."