FROST (Natasha Romanoff x female reader)

Chapter 36: Lies

It had been two weeks since Mara's first test with her trigger words. Since then, she has managed to maintain control over her mind when her trigger words were listed in English.

Her hypnotherapy sessions have been extremely successful and she can somehow feel the absence of Hydra's mind control.

Today was her final test to see if she was a free woman. If she passed today's test, she could finally go back to the compound and be with Natasha.

She missed her redhead. The way she would do her iconic smirk when she was innocently flirting with Mara, the way her hair would spill across her pillow when she was sleeping next to the brunette, the way she fought off bad guys. God, she just missed everything about her.

They weren't able to talk every day anymore, since Natasha got busy with missions and interrogating Whitehall. They were now talking about 3 times a week if they were lucky.

But it didn't matter to Mara that they didn't get to talk every day. The bond between them was strong enough to not have to talk every single day. At least, that's what Mara thought.

Natasha had a different reason as to why they did not call as often anymore.

The redhead had a difficult time without Mara, but she had committed a sin in her eyes.

She had told herself the moment after she accidentally kissed Steve that it was a mistake and would never happen again. But it did. More than once. She lied, not only to herself but also to Mara.

It was a coping mechanism for her. Steve was with her every day and the two were close. She tried to stay loyal to Mara, but struggled when the brunette wasn't physically with her.

She told Mara that she was busy with missions, but she just told her that because she couldn't bare talking to the brunette without feeling guilty.

Every time Mara would answer the phone with so much love in her voice I broke Natasha's heart.

She was mad at herself for doing this, but she couldn't help it. Steve was a way for her to cope with her feelings and physical needs.

Every time it happened she would get mad at herself and lock herself in the gym for hours to let out that anger on the punching bag.

Deep down she knew that she was ruining her relationship, but she just hoped Mara would understand.

Another way for her to cope was by using Whitehall as her punching bag. She had begun using torture as a new way of interrogation since talking clearly wasn't working. She did not push him too far yet, but soon she would.

She knew that today was Mara's final test, so she texted her wishing her good luck and to call her afterwards. After only a minute, Mara replied with 'Thanks baby. I love you ❤️'.

This caused Natasha to let out a small sob. Mara was so loyal to Natasha and here she was, using Steve and slowly breaking the brunette's heart.

Mara's love was unconditional, whereas Natasha's seemed to have conditions.