Fade Away

2.2

September 13, 2:15
"Would you like to share today Az?" The women asked and I just looked at her. "Any time you wish you could go back to?" She asked. Someone said the day she tried drugs for the first time so she could stop herself. Another said the day he missed his daughter's birthday but most of them gave the same answer. The day they first tried their addictive substance so they could fix it.

  "8:15 in the morning a Sunday morning, I just don't remember which one" I answered and she was confused but didn't question the only time I have talked in group share since I've been here. "Why that day?" A man who was usually quiet like I, asked. "I was in love" is all I answered and he shook his head. After group share was done they gave us all some fruit and the smell of strawberries made me super nauseous but I didn't quite understand why, or maybe like everything else I didn't want to own up to my actions.

11:45 pm, June 3rd
"Az you have to eat something please" she mumbled in almost a defeated tone. "I am not hungry" I answered and she sighed and wiped her eyes. She was tired, you can tell by her eyes she was exhausted but still picked me up from that party I promised I wouldn't go to. She helped me into some clean clothes and grabbed a strawberry from the plate. "Please eat it" she whispered in a broken voice and I sighed and tossed it in my mouth before putting the cover over me. It was quiet and the only sound was the rain hitting the window. "It's never going to be me is it Az? Never going to be just you and I" she said as she laid down next to me. "There's no one else love, just you and I" I answered and laid on my back to ease her nerves. "You, I and that drug that takes you away" she said and I turned to look at her. "I'm trying, I really am" I whispered and she only forced a smile and nodded. She fell asleep really fast and the guilt was eating me alive in a way. I'm not sure if it was because I lied or If because I kissed Kenzie and the smells of strawberries was reminding me of it.