Fade Away

9.9

"I don't understand why you won't just get out of bed" my sister Dais said from across my room. "Dais you know that time James broke up with you and all you wanted to do was cry and listen to Taylor Swift?" I asked and she nodded. "Great now that you understand me leave me alone" I said and she groaned loudly. "Az they're never going to let you come home please" she whispered making my heart ache. "Dais I love you so much and I miss everything so much but if I go home right now I'll be back here the next day" I said and she only grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

I had to understand that Dais was just 16, she was 16 and missed having me around and didn't really understand why I had to stay. "What's your plan when you get to leave?" She asked changing the subject. "It would be look for her but she loves someone else so I'm not sure" I said and she just looked at me.

Zens Pov
1 day prior
Being there and not seeing Aziz was killing me, what was written in the letter I handed the counselor was killing me because even if I loved Aziz with my entire heart I just couldn't be pulled back into this never ending cycle. I have loved Aziz through everything and in a weird way Aziz loved me back, it was filled with confusion but it was love. Although Aziz loved me it just wasn't the kind of love that was healthy. It was filled with arguments and broken promises but at the end of the day I would let Aziz ruin me again if it meant that we got to love each other the way we desired to. Az has the tendency to self sabotage because he couldn't accept the love he deserved due to all the hatred towards himself. I wish he could see himself the way I saw him. I will lie a million times and continue running away from him because going back to him is my self sabotage. Although we didn't work in this lifetime I'd throw everything out the window and self sabotage a million times if it meant I had the chance to show him he wasn't his addiction. He was worth more. He was Aziz. He was Aziz and he lit up this dark empty town.