Fade Away

5.5

I was reading a old book I got from the library when my mom walked through the door. "Hello baby" she said walking over to me and kissing my head. "Hi mom" I said and she smiled. "I can't be here for long but I brought you something" she said pulling a stack of letters from her purse.

I didn't need to ask who they were from because I could recognize that handwriting anywhere. "I sorted them by the dates on the envelopes, I think it'll be good if you read them az" she said handing me the letters and kissing my head before walking out the door.

My heart hurts because I wish I could read them when she originally gave them to me.

Sometime before it all fell apart
I was walking to third period when my girlfriend happily walked up to me. "Hi baby" she said happily before pecking my lips. "Hi my love" I said kissing her again, "here, I wrote this while Mr Davis gave his boring lecture about some war" she said and I laughed softly. I took the letter from her hand and shoved it into my back pocket. "Why don't you write me one?" She asked and I just shrugged making her smile fade from her face.
I tended to make her smile fade a lot and that hurt me. I grabbed the first letter and read it while I waited for group share to start. "Aziz would you like to share what you're reading?" The counselor for today asked and I nodded slowly.
"Dear my beautiful Aziz. I'm sorry I have to leave you here. I'm sorry I have to leave you where you are unhappy but as I sit here and wait for your mom to check you in, I feel comfortable because I rather leave you here then in that bathroom floor. I love you so much Aziz, I have forgiven it all and gave you a million chances and a part of me would give you a million more but I don't think I'll ever be able to give you one more chance. All the things I did to call you mine Aziz. All I did to say the
boy with the most beautiful eyes was mine. Maybe sometime else our stars can align and you can paint me any color other then Grey"

I finished reading my letter and clenched it lightly in my hands. "I wish I could take it all back but I'm stuck here and I can't do anything about it" I said in defeat. "That's not entirely true" a girl said from across the room and I looked at her in confusion. "You can write her one back" she said and I sighed lightly. She was right.