Fade Away

17.17

I set her food down and started to walk away when she nudged towards the front of her booth. I hesitated but sat down. It was quiet for a minute but she sighed and cleared her throat and looked at me again. "You should call your mom, they think you're dead Aziz" she whispered and that made my heart hurt. Knowing that they worry about me and grieve someone who is alive. "why would they think that?" I asked, "you disappeared Aziz" she answered and she was right. They deserved to know where I was but I was selfish and needed to detox alone. "Did you get married?" I asked quietly, hoping for the answer I was looking for. "Yes" she answered making my heart drop again. "You published a book?" I asked looking towards the bookstore that has it displayed in the window. "Yes, that reminds me" she said searching through her bag and handing me my journal. "That is your story to tell not mine Az" She mumbled and I took it into my hands and nodded slightly. "Did you read it?" I asked, hoping that maybe my story would change her view of me. Knowing that maybe if she knew my addiction wasn't my fault she would look at me like a person and not a color grey. "No, but maybe I can read it if you ever publish it" she said and I nodded before standing up and walking back to my spot. She didn't stay long, she left the money on the table and a note I was too afraid to open. 

When I arrived home Dana was gone and Z was well fed and asleep. I sat down on my couch and noticed the container similar to the one that made me cave was sitting on the counter refilled and I know she thinks she might be helping but she might of just signed my death wish. I opened the note and sighed lightly before reading. 

" Dear Aziz, 

If you left to be sober, why aren't you? " 

She could always read me like a story. She had a way of knowing and I'm not sure if my darker eyes gave it away or maybe because she knew me a little too well. Maybe she did read my book and she knew I only drank coffee when I wanted to hold off on the high till after work. Maybe she does more harm then good.