Fade Away

13.13

The big blanket that once belonged in the back of zachs car covered my body. His smell and the smell of weed was taunting me. Almost like I could physically feel it taunting me as the blanket rubbed gently on my body.

My door opened and someone sat on the edge of my bed. "You have to get out of bed bud" my dad whispered lightly. This is the first conversation we've had since i came home. "When we would get calls at night. I would be so afraid to answer them. I would be afraid because one of those calls could tell me that my son was dead. When I answered the call about Zach and his dad was crying I knew that I am not capable of receiving that call. I am not strong enough" he ached out and i removed the blanket from my head. "So please get out of bed" he whispered and I removed the blanket from myself and sat up. "Dad" I whispered and he looked at me. "I need you to drive me to rehab please" I said and he inhaled sharply and nodded. "I just need to do something first" I said and fear grew on his face. "I need to give Zen a proper goodbye" I said before pulling the sweater over my body and sliding on some shoes. I handed him the blanket and a bag i had packed the night before. "Ill meet you in the car in 10" I said and he nodded.

I knocked on that familiar bedroom window. The girl who made my world make sense hesitantly opened the window and i moved myself inside. Her room was the same. Except for a picture of us was replaced with one of her and her fiancé. "You can't be here" she mumbled and I nodded. "I am going back to rehab, when I get out you'll be in New York. I know i never told you that you're going to make it big but you are. You're going to be an author who writes amazing stories and you're going to have your dream relationship and family" I said and she didn't look up at me. "I am sorry that I am the concept of everything. Everything bad at least" I said and she still didn't look at me. I grabbed her hand gently and my eyes watered knowing this was the last time. I swallowed the lump in my throat and let go of her hand. "This is for you, maybe you can write a book about it" I said handing her my brown notebook that was filled with everything ive ever thought. I removed the hair from her face before walking out of her room.

The drive was silent

We reached the location and I grabbed my things and watched my dad drive away. I sighed and walked in the opposite direction of the building. After 40 minutes. I reached Zachs car which was parked outside of his girlfriends house. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" I asked her and she nodded and handed me the keys. I reached into my pocket for a note that Zach had written about her inside of my notebook. "He loved you" I said and she smiled before grabbing the note. "You sure you dont want the blanket?" I forced out in hopes that she would truly say no. "No. I have a million hoodies" she laughed and i cracked a smile. "Thank you" I said as i got into the car. "Don't do anything stupid. Please" she said and i smiled before closing the car door. "Well buddy. I told you we would get out of this crappy town" I whispered to the picture on the passenger seat.

This sad crappy town.