13. "Don't Look Back."

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For now, we're left alone. Vanessa is piloting the plane, Bucky has my wound patched, and I'm wondering if there are any survivors outside of us. What if we're the only ones left?

Bucky doesn't leave my side, like he's an obedient dog. He sits beside me, and we both sit in silence. But the silence doesn't last long thanks to me.

"I want to know everything that you know about the old me, Buck," I whisper, just out of Vanessa's range. "About...about the Hydra me."

He runs a hand through his hair. "Truthfully, there's not much to you. Like I said, we never worked together, we were just part of the same thing. I could only guess at what you were when there. You joined willingly, that much I could see."

I cringe, already disliking and regretting this.

"You were still new, I could see that too. You were ambitious, striving to learn everything and anything possible Hydra could offer you, even secrets."

"Did you and I ever talk?"

"We didn't meet under normal circumstances. To you, I was only talked about and heard of, never seen by someone so new as you. Curiosity got the better of you one day, and you happened to find me. Nobody was in the room except for me. You were taking a big risk there."

"Why?"

"I've had a past with Hydra, they're the reason I ended up like this." He flexes his bionic arm. "They gave me this and an entirely different mindset. You probably wouldn't know the former name I went by if I told you."

"Try me."

"Around our Hydra days, I was known as the Winter Soldier. To some people, I still am." He frowns slightly. "It's not a title I'm happy about."

"Why?"

"Does 'Winter Soldier' sound good to you?"

I think about it. "No."

"I was their asset, I heard that word many times. I was behind a lot of assassinations, credited with quite a few." His scowl deepens. "For such a powerful asset, they treated me like shit. They didn't treat me like royalty, more like an animal. I assumed when you found me that first day that you would be like the rest of them: if I did something wrong, you'd hurt me.

"But you weren't like them. In fact, I didn't know who you really were until after you kept coming back. I attacked you the first time I met you. That didn't scare you off, it made you even more curious about me. You snuck in whenever I wasn't doing a dirty job. You tried to get me to talk, but I never budged. You and I both never understood why you kept coming back." He looks at me softly. "You were different than them, you didn't treat me like a weapon. You didn't talk down to me like they did, you talked to me. I began to enjoy your company.

"Then, you just stopped all together. It didn't break my heart or anything, but it did get me wondering where you went. I began to think that they did something to you, but then I figured they put you back in your place, because the next time I saw you..."

"The accident," I say.

My head pounds violently. Flickers of the accident come back to me. Gunfire. Building on fire. Smoke. Flames. Voices. Bucky. That was my last day as the old Hydra me before I got the nasty blow to the head.

"You okay?" he asks.

I rub my forehead. "I've been better." I steal a look at my sister, who's one-hundred percent focused on piloting. "I can see why she didn't want to be around earlier. She's known all this time who I was." I lean my head gently against the wall behind me. "I can't imagine what she went through when she found out..." I shake my head. "I'm glad you told me, Buck. Vanessa may have never told me. She would have wanted to keep it from me forever."

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