Redemption ||Bucky Barnes||

45. Terms and Conditions

It takes a little while before we're given the all-clear to actually step foot outside of the base. The news made me want to pursue Bucky's idea even more. I mean, a life without all this? A life that I could have possibly been living? Who wouldn't want that?

But I'm still holding back one week after the news was announced. I do want that ordinary life that Bucky's supposedly thought about and never told me, but at the same time, I don't want to abandon S.H.I.E.L.D. I'd be abandoning Vanessa if I did so, and everyone I've come to like here. I don't want to just throw it all away.

I know it's not just me feeling the reluctance bug, I know Bucky is too. He's torn, just like me. He wants to stay here and help out, but that new start is teasing him now that it's so close to being possible. It's tormenting us both, practically dangling itself in our faces.

We haven't brought up the discussion since Bucky initially brought up the idea. And that was a few weeks ago. We need to address it soon before it's forgotten about entirely and the regret settles in.

I get an early start this morning, showering and dressing before Sharon is awake enough to ask me what I'm doing. I take the familiar route to Bucky and Rogers' room. I make sure to listen in. They're probably still sleeping. But instead of two snores, I only hear one. Someone's up early.

I don't bother to knock, as I don't want to disturb whoever's on the other side of the door. I'm not sure if either of them are really morning people. I don't want to find out today. I backtrack to my room in case Bucky is the one who's up and decided to try and find me in the room.

I find no one waiting for me, only the closed door with Sharon on the other side. I purse my lips. Hmm. Explore or get breakfast? It doesn't take long for my stomach to settle that question for me.

I pull myself to the cafeteria, where there are a select few agents stationed, eating. Some look like they're asleep, with their heads down on the tables. I scan the way to find someone recognizable. Unfortunately, I don't.

As I get my food, I'm brought back to the cafeteria on the Helicarrier, where I first got properly introduced to Bucky. I remember almost thinking that he and Vanessa had been together, with the way they acted towards each other. That was back when I knew nothing about S.H.I.E.L.D. or Hydra. I still don't know every single detail of either organization, and I may never. I may never want to either, some things can stay out of my mind.

I eat in silence at a lone table while others talk in sleepy tones. One agent is beginning to snore, and I can't help but giggle to myself. I focus on my food and try to keep my mind empty. I need to put a chip on him or something so I know where he is.

I'm sure I look like a zombie with the way I pull myself out of the cafeteria. The moment I'm out and the door is closing behind me, I'm grabbed from the side, pulled away from prying eyes. I almost scream, but my back is against the wall, and a soft mouth is over mine. I laugh and grow red at how stupid I was about to be.

"Good morning," Bucky croons, resting his forehead against mine.

"You scared me," I whimper.

"Sorry. I was looking for you."

"Funny, I was looking for you."

"I've got an idea."

"What's it regarding?"

"Our new start."

"Okay."