TheUnwillingChosenOne Uploaded!

It Don't Bite!

Lunch was a fun affair! The rest of the family sat and ate slowly as Harry stood nearby, humming a lovely, but unrecognizable song. They couldn't help but feel nervous at the almost ominously happy boy. Harry was even given a large portion for lunch due to their, not unfounded, paranoia!

Harry enjoyed his turkey and cheese sandwiches with a cup of black tea. His continued cheerfulness only grew at the pure panic that Dudley displayed as he acted as if nothing happened. Honestly, he should have done this years ago! He would really enjoy the rest of the week, his family would not.

After lunch, he decided to update his followers on the proceedings thus far. His excitement as he set up his monitor and camera thrummed through the air. He would probably look into more muggle humor to connect more with his followers; though they seem to enjoy his rambling about the wizarding world. Perhaps he should look up some videos on editing as well? He'll figure that out later.

"Hey muggles! So, Operation Gaslight, Gate keep, Girlboss - thanks for the plan and name suggestion! - has begun! They are already really paranoid and I've barely done anything yet! I've been acting really happy, like overly so, kinda like a house elf on a sugar high. Um, I messed with my cousin by crying then pretending nothing happened."

"Well, that's all I have to report right now, but I could tell you about my first year at Hogwarts? Well, um, the groundskeeper, let's call him Haggard, he gave me my acceptance letter after my family was bombarded with letters and moved to a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean. Then he took me to get my school supplies; which by the way they use ink and quills, I don't know why because they are literally super hard to use without smudging! He got me an owl for my birthday after I got my wand, her name is Hedwig and she is my best friend."

"Then I had to stay with my relatives until September 1st and then I had to get on Platform 9 ¾ which is just between platforms 9 and 10 , but you have to run through a wall to get to the Hogwarts Express. I learned how to get there from my best mate's mum. After I got on the train, I met my two best friends: um, Ran and Harmony."

"After I got off the train and got to the castle, we had to ride these magic propelled boats, and then we got sorted into our houses. Now, I have questions! Why would you put all the like-minded people together? That doesn't seem healthy! Shouldn't they have done it in groups of four with one student from each house? Anyways, I got sorted into Gryffindor, but the hat did day I'd do well in Slytherin."

"Gryffindor is the house of the brave and daring; Slytherin is the house for the cunning and ambitious; Ravenclaw is the house of the smart and curious; and lastly Hufflepuff is the house for the hard-working and loyal. There is this weird house loyalty thing, but I don't think any of them are better than the others. Everyone has traits from all the houses."

"Anyways, most of the year I learned about magic, but then Tim Roddle, who was on the back of my Defense teacher's head hiding under his turban, well he was trying to steal this rock that could make him immortal. So me and my best friends went through these puzzles that the teachers made to stop Tim. I ended up killing a man."

Well, that's all for now. Leave suggestions on how I can keep torturing my relatives. Oh! I'm going to try to learn more about memes and stuff so definitely recommend anything you think I would like! Potter out!"

Harry uploaded the newest video before grabbing a novel from the box of rejected gifts of Dudley's. His plans were coming along smoothly. Maybe he should get a phone or portable camera so he could make more videos, people really seemed to enjoy them. He would deal with that later, for now he wanted nothing more than to lose himself in a fantasy world.