Hangang In The Autumn | Taekook

2. Truth Or Dare

The moody sky must be clear by now, the sun would reach the top, shining ever so softly through the foggy skyscrapers. To wipe away the laziness of the night, and to start a  brand new day, the hourglass must be flipped by the time itself. The brisk roads must be waking up to the second last day of the year, hearing the chimes of the vehicle moving from one destination to another. Taehyung doesn't know. 

As soon as the window opened and a strand of light came in, Taehyung squirmed, faintly coming to realize that his bed is not comfortable as usual. He feels a hard thing under his soft cheeks instead of his fluffy pillow. Something was stopping his hands from moving to hug himself. And blanket? How could he sleep without a blanket covering him in this intolerable winter? His squinted eyes wander around slowly to catch a glimpse of the purple dream catcher on his wall, pastel blue curtains that would be closed, and the quote he used to read as the first thing on every morning. It's all missing. Panic took over his fragile body, blood rushing at an uncontrollable pace through his veins, hands failing while trying to embrace himself before he opens his eyes completely. And that's when it all fell into its place. 

The surroundings, the dreadful scent that almost made him throw up, the only light coming from the rusty and dust-filled window. No, this can never be his home. Taehyung tried to collect the last piece of his memory, but he paused. The night flashed in front of his eyes like a nightmare, making his body quiver in fear and agony. So, today is his birthday. A day that was supposed to be the happiest day of the year for him and his brother. Oh.

Taehyung paused for a moment, and suddenly remembered the reason why he was there. The interrogation room. He got a war flashback of officer Choi Minho telling him that he was accused of murder. The murder of his brother. Does that mean Baekhyun...? 

No. 

"No!" 

He didn't know he had a voice to scream like that after crying that much last night and sleeping in the middle of his muffled sobs. But when the sound resonated in the room, Taehyung realized that no one could hear him. His pleas are gonna touch the cold walls, reverberate as if it's not even a relevant voice to reply, and will return to him. He suddenly got aware of the bittersweet reality that now that his brother is no more, there's no one on his side to protect him, to keep him warm in this excruciating pain and cold winter. He's alone. From the moment something happened to his brother, Taehyung was alone. With his heart clenching at the thought of a world without Baekhyun, without anyone to call family, Taehyung lay on the wooden desk, letting the last drops of tears fall, eyes hurting but still he couldn't stop. 

It's like that. One day, you're born with everyone, or with someone who becomes your everything. You learn you grow, you survive, you'll feel tired. However, that person would always be on your side, telling you how it's okay to fail sometimes, just don't give up. So you go on, as the time takes you to places, you learn roses are sold, bougainvilleas are endured. You'll tell yourself that pain is the poison you will get when you trust someone too much, and love should be expressed not admired from afar. You'll eventually appreciate the small things that can make a big difference, and in the end, you will find peace only by loving and accepting yourself. It's all a part of the story.

Taehyung also passed all of those phases because he believed in the power of his dreams and the affection his brother has towards him that always kept him going. Wherever he would go, Taehyung used to tell himself to get back home before it was too late, 'cause he didn't want his brother to be worried about him. But after realizing that Baekhyun will not be there for him to be concerned when he comes home late when he will forget to call when he will pretend sick only to get cuddles, Taehyung feels the whole world falling apart on him. He couldn't find a reason to stay. A reason to come back. A reason to survive.