Meaningful texts

Different versions~

'She's disgusting.' 'Wow, what is she wearing?! It even has glitters on it lol.' 'Eww she sits next to me in class, what I'm I supposed to do?' 'Oh no, please don't put me in that class, it's full of weird people.' 'I look fake?! I'm not.' 'Why would you say I look pretty? I'm disgusting.' 'I HATE MYSELF!' 'Just breathe and look in the mirror, say you're pretty, convince yourself you're not weird or different. Well that was a fail.' 'I hate him, it's HIS fault that I'm broken!' Wrong. It's YOUR fault. You could have reacted differently. It's also not just yourself that you broke, with all your drama, your pain, your "bad feelings", your mother and brother are feeling bad too. 'Put me in a boarding school? Put me in psychiatry?! Mom will say no.' 'Well then go ask her, she doesn't want to be with you anymore but she doesn't want me to have a stepmom, you're a bad father I hate you.' Why? 'He hurt me.' I know.. But does hating him and not speaking for months and then bursting out helps anything? 'I'm not a murderer, please don't say I am! That hurts.' You're not a murderer. Don't listen. Of course it's better for your mom if there weren't any fights, but that doesn't make you a killer. 'You think I'm an actress? If I cry it feels real and I also feel sad all the time, like these past two years. My life does feel like an act though.' That's because you ARE fake, it's not your fault. You have no idea who you really are. You think you have it all figured out, but you don't. All these different versions.. Which one is you? 'I don't know, I guess I'm all of them, I'm a bit different with everyone, I just choose what fits best with which person. Easy. Just not so if they decide to come together and I need to speak. Then I'm screwed. Then I need to choose a version and I lose one person.' No. You don't "lose" the person, you'll lose their respect for you. You can't suspect people to accept, understand, RESPECT you, if you're fake. It's not your fault, but find out who you are. Not for anyone else, but for yourself. 'I'm scared to lose the people that like my "fake" version.' Well then that's a pity, but you'll lose them anyway. This is suffocating. 'I'm a loner, I'm used to it.' That's not a reason not to be yourself. Who do you want to be? Who do you look up to? Find that out for yourself..