Private. Closed. Walls surrounding her. Loneliness. Habits. A shy girl with a lot of weird traits. Actress. Fake. A past. Stop. Stop. Breathe. Close your eyes, hold for a few seconds, open them again. Look. Now tell me, what do you see? 'People' Yes. Go on. 'I see.. people laughing' 'a teacher who's writing on a bord' 'I see a pencil, some words I've written down' 'I see someone looking at me' Look back. 'Too late' 'again' 'always too late' Ask to go to the toilet.. Good girl. Now look in the mirror. Describe. 'I see a girl' 'she's waiting for something, not sure what for' 'looks like she's cold' You believe she's only cold? Tell me what you see. 'She's breathing, fast' 'she looks angry but also sad at the same time, even though she has no reason to' How do you know? 'I see hatred in her eyes' You think she hates herself? 'I'm not sure, I think so?' 'She has every reason to' Wrong. What did she ever do that was so wrong then? 'made mistakes' 'hurted people' 'wasn't herself and made a version that people dislike and so does she' 'she's so quiet, but sometimes so loud' 'she wants to run, hide, time to just.. stop' 'also her expectations are way to high, makes disappointment way easier' 'she has very unrealistic hopes for life' So you're telling me she's naïve? 'No!' It's not an assault though. 'Everyone thinks she's naïve' 'so many people are convinced she's stupid' 'people who care about her say she's weak, soft' Maybe she is? She looks like someone who you can break whenever you want. Always ready for drama. 'Please don't say that..' 'She was broken once before, doesn't mean she hasn't healed and yes, you can hurt her easily, but that doesn't mean she's weak' Do you like the girl? 'Yes, some features of her' Not all of them? 'No, she's a bit toxic sometimes' 'apparently she lies to herself' 'she's different, I'm not sure if it's in a good way' You seem to know her so well don't you? 'Yes.. But then yet again I'm lying to her' You know you can't stop time right? Run. You've been here for too long, people are waiting for you. Go back to reality. Wake up! 'I can't, I'm not here' 'I don't want to move' Well you have to, stop being so lazy. Nobody will ever like you if you just sit there like a plant.. 'I don't hate her, I hate you!' 'She hasn't made that version, she's NOT toxic, she's a good person, YOU did this to her!' Believe that. Curse me all you want, but never forget we're endgame. 'Let me go' No. I'm a part of you. You lost control, that's your fault. Fix it. 'I will.. I need time' You don't have time. Do it now. 'Ok' I'm sorry. I'm evil, but I'm not the reason you feel this way. That's all on you. I got in your head and you listened to me.
Stop listening.
YOU ARE READING
Meaningful texts
PoetryTrying to share a mirror here.. also, a lot of the things are really personal, but I think for some people it's kinda accurate Hope u like them (:
