A bed, some cute pillows. One of them was colored with mascara, beautifully wrapped in tears. She wanted to sleep. She could not. 'Come hug me, I kinda need one' At the point where crying was a routine, smiling was a task and eating was an addiction. She stood up, opened the window, looked outside and started thinking. The wind felt nice. 'What if someone would see me like this?' 'Would they care?' 'I want someone to see me, help me, but I don't want to be an attention seeker' Wishing on a star, hoping for a miracle. There she was. A broken little doll who called herself all the negative words the grownups told her not to. 'I'm strong, I don't need help, I need to do this on my own' She wasn't. Her strength died along with the hope she had for life. She wanted to die. The only thing that was holding her back were fluffy cats, a dog and her precious mom. Who loved her like crazy by the way, even though she didn't really knew her own daughter. That wasn't her fault though, the girl was a master sadqueen in disguise. Nobody saw her heart, they all thought something was wrong with her. Naïve, actress, stupid. Maybe something WAS wrong? She felt a lot, saw a lot, most definitely heard a lot. Everyone was blind. They couldn't see her scars. She fooled everyone, at some point even herself. 'Who am I?' She had no idea. She took her laptop. 'How to fight depression' 'how to concentrate on school' 'how to lose weight fast' 13 years old. The doll was laying on her bed again. She didn't find good enough answers, the internet disappointed her again with an overdose of lies. 'People, why are you all so different from me? I'm not weird, but I don't feel normal either' Still not good enough, must improve. 4 years later. The girl was sitting on her bed again, thinking. A lot has happened. She knows herself now and isn't broken anymore. Still feels sad though, even though the feeling has faded a bit, it still comes back at times. Depression is her past, she found her strength back. 'I found people' The girl could speak, finally? She wasn't alone anymore. Still must improve, 'I want to live' she said. Some of them saw her scars now and accepted her heart. The star fell, she made a wish. Accepted, loved, enough. Her pillow never dried, but she has hope now, and a LOT of happy feelings. She's far away from true happiness, but MUCH further from depression. It won't take her again. She's safe now. (:
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PoetryTrying to share a mirror here.. also, a lot of the things are really personal, but I think for some people it's kinda accurate Hope u like them (:
