Crazy obsession.

Boundaries.

TC'S diary entry 5.

I was so tired and needed some coffee
And a break because I was up writing songs and being in the studio till 4 am in the morning.

I went to the cafe and I saw her again. The same fan who I met that night of the concert and the fan sign.

I was surprised we had bumped into each other but maybe it was a sign that me and her could possibly even be friends? I wasn't sure at first since she's my fan.

I didn't wanna overstep any boundaries.
While I was repaying her with coffee I bumped into my childhood lover.

She and I go way back I just didn't expect her to show up randomly out of the blue lie this I mean yeah we text sometimes but I never thought I'd see her back in town again.

Why was she suddenly back? She literally hurt and left me wanted nothing to do with me and now all of a sudden she's back saying how she loves me and she wants to get back together.

Yes I still have feelings for her but I wasn't sure if I wanted to get back into a relationship with her because I didn't wanna have to deal with her leaving again and hurting me for the third time.

I'm such a fool for letting her back in my life two times and now this time I definitely wasn't going to for a third time no matter how close we are no matter how many feelings I have for her I don't want to deal with that kind of pain again.

I barely struggle to get through already and I'm barely healing from all the hurt I literally wrote so many songs about her I bet she already knows this and that's why she wants to come back into my life but I won't let her use me.

Of course she tried to make my fan jealous as well I can tell what she was doing and that wasn't gonna work which is why I asked my fan Guen to stay but for some reason she just wasn't and I can feel the tension in the air I knew she was jealous too but why?

It just seemed strange she was my fan after all but I could understand maybe she liked me a lot but isn't it mainly for my music so why is she getting jealous at the sight of another girl.

She ended up leaving and I got into a big fight with seol I had to make sure to let seol know I wouldn't let her hurt me again and that I wasn't going to let her back into my life to hurt and leave me again.

Seol kept screaming but I don't care I left and that's when I decided to text Guen I wanted to apologize I don't even know why I was apologizing either.

Guen and I  got into a fight because she was upset at me for some reason? She was starting to act weird and a little crazy..and I just couldn't  deal with that right now.

I had a lot going on in my head so I told her to get some help and that we should probably take a break from chatting with each other I think I need a break from everyone because I am so stressed right now I don't even know..to be honest.

- TC