In My Head

Sixth Months Before the Move ~ Black Out ~ Kaden

"Thanks for the ride, man."

Jake turns his car into my driveway and says, "No problem. See ya tomorrow."

"See ya." I take a big breath, jump out of the car into the rain, and make a break for the front door. The rain gets in my eyes. I duck my head, go for the door, push it open, and rush in.

The house looks deserted, with all the lights off in the kitchen, living room, and dining room. I shut the door and wipe my face on my damp shirt. The clock on the wall says it's a quarter to midnight. I'm late, but Mom's not here waiting for me. Something isn't right.

I check the downstairs again, then take the stairs two at a time and go down the hallway. In the darkness, I spot the line of light under the door to my parents' room. I inch my up and put my ear against the closed door.

". . . I don't understand why we have to do this right now." Dad's voice, kind of muffled. "I just want to see the boys finish out their school year here."

"Let's be realistic," Mom says. "You have your new job offer in California, and there's nothing here for me. We need to do this. Waiting is pointless."

Do what? I shift against the door and cup my hands around my ear.

"Can we at least agree to wait until after the game tomorrow to tell them?"

Tell us what?

"Fine, tomorrow then," Mom says. "That will give them a week to get ready. I think we need to talk about custody."

"What's there to talk about?" Dad suddenly sounds angry.

"Don't yell, Russ. The boys will hear."

"The boys are fifteen. They can choose who they live with."

It's quiet for a while, and what Dad just said really starts to sink in. My parents are getting divorced. Then the pieces start to fall into place. They're both moving away, and I have to leave West Linn. Leave the team. Leave Lissa.

I pull away from the door. Suddenly my brain is so numb, I can't think straight. All I care about is getting away as fast as possible. Away from my parents, away from this crazy idea. I turn and go down the hallway towards my room.

Cold and wet, dripping down my face. I snap out of it. I'm standing outside in the rain. Where am I? I spin around and make out lights off in the distance, long grass under my feet. How did I get here? My legs turn into rubber and my stomach clenches up. I hug my arms around myself and hunch my shoulders, shivering in the cold. I can't remember going back down the stairs, opening the door, walking across the street and through the open lot. But somehow, here I am, in the field across the street from our house.