In My Head

Three Days After The Move ~ Battle Scars ~ Kaden

"Alright, you ready?" Logan asks.

"I guess." I hold the bloody gauze against the cut on my chin.

"Just let me do the talking." Logan pulls me up from the couch and leads the way back to our parents' room and through the open door. Mom is sleeping on the bed. "Mom?" Logan puts his arm over my shoulder. Before he can call out to her again, her eyes snap open and she sits up. Man, she's a light sleeper.

She's out of bed in seconds flat. "Oh, sweetie . . ." She steps up and puts her hands on my shoulders. "Let me see."

I let her take the gauze away from my chin. I stare over her shoulder and shove my hands in my pockets.

"Oh no." She pulls me into a hug and rubs my back, but I leave my hands in my pockets. A hug won't fix my chin. A hug doesn't make it stop hurting. It doesn't make me feel safe when I know it could happen again tomorrow.

"He needs stitches, doesn't he?" Logan says.

Mom turns on him. "How did this happen?"

"He was in the bathroom. I think he hit the counter."

Mom furrows her brow at the blood on Logan's hands, and I hold my breath. "I'm sorry sweetie," she says finally, trying to smile at me. I sigh. It makes sense for me to have no idea what happened, and it makes sense for Logan to be unsure of how I hurt myself. Logan was right; we can get away with this.

Mom stares at my bloody shirt. "Why don't you go change your shirt?"

I nod and leave the room. Logan turns to follow me, but Mom asks for him to stay and talk. I stop right outside the door and sidestep out of view, straining my ears to hear what Mom has to say. "Tell me again how that happened," Mom says in this icy tone.

"Mom." Logan sounds tired. "I didn't mean to let him get hurt. It's not like I could have prevented it. I mean, he was in the bathroom." That gets me thinking. I can't remember how it happened, but I know I was outside with Logan and Mirna. Maybe he feels like this cut on my chin is his fault.

"I know, Logan," Mom says. "Just, do me a favor? . . . Let me take it from here."

I clench my jaw so hard my ears roar. He already feels bad. Why does she need to make it worse? I step away, not wanting to hear Logan's response. I rip my shirt off and go to my room for a clean one. My chin is bleeding again. I guess I broke the cut back open when I took my shirt off. This gives me an idea, and I go to the bathroom, touch my chin, and smear the blood on the corner of the bathroom counter. I drop to my hands and knees and let the blood drip onto the floor for a while. Then I stand in the doorway and hold the shirt against my chin until I stop bleeding.

When Mom comes in to check on me, she sees me staring into the bathroom. She lightly touches my shoulder. "You're okay now. Come on and get dressed so we can go."

"Is Logan coming?" I ask with my eyes on the tiny pool of blood on the floor.

"No, he's staying here." Mom goes to my dresser and pulls out a shirt, which she holds out to me. I set my jaw, take the shirt, and carefully pull it on so it won't rub against my chin.

Mom takes me by the shoulder all the way to the garage. I get in the car and slam the door shut hard. Mom gets in the driver's seat; she looks up at her rearview mirror and furrows her brow. "Kaden, are you sure you got hurt in the bathroom?"

Then I realize we left the garage door open. There might be blood on the driveway, and Logan isn't here to lie for me, since Mom didn't let him come. I recline my seat and gaze up at the ceiling. "I hate our bathroom," I mumble, letting my eyes droop. I don't even have to act exhausted. Through the blur of my eyelashes, I see Mom reach across me to put my seatbelt on. Then the car starts to move, and I drift off.