The one with Joey's Twin Sister | Friends Fanfic

Ch-20

-Francine-

Everyone is at Monica and Rachel's apartment after learning Phoebe is married.

Joey: This is unbelievable Pheebs how can you be married?.

Phoebe: Well I mean I'm not married-married ya know he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.

Monica I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me?. We lived together we told each other everything.

Phoebe: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really like judgmental and you would not approve.

Monica: Of course I wouldn't approve I mean you were totally in love with this guy who hello was gay. I mean what the hell were you thinking?.

Fran: "Sarcastically". You see and you thought she'd be judgmental.

Phoebe: Ok I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.

Monica: Please when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.

All: Huh.

Monica: Well didn't you?.

Phoebe: I might have.

Monica: I can't believe you didn't tell me.

Phoebe: Oh c'mon like you tell me everything.

Monica: What have I not told you?.

Phoebe: Oh I don't know. Um how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.

Fran, Rachel: What!.

Monica: Wait a minute who told you?. "Turns to Chandler". You are dead meat.

Chandler: I didn't know it was a big secret.

Monica: Oh it's not big not at all you know kinda the same lines as say oh I don't know having a third nipple!.

Phoebe: You have a third nipple?.

Chandler: You bitch.

Ross: Whip it out, whip it out.

Chandler: C'mon there's nothing to see it's just a tiny bump it's totally useless.

Rachel: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?.

Joey: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.

Fran: Joey what did you think a nubbin was?.

Joey: I don't know you see something you hear a word I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.

All: Yeah show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.

Chandler: Joey was in a porno movie!. Francine keeps a photo of her ex on her bedroom desk!.

All: Huh.

Fran: Hey!.

Chandler: If I'm going down. I'm taking everybody with me!.

Ross: You were in a porno?.

Joey: Ah alright, alright, alright I was young and I just wanted a job ok. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't cause there's people having sex on it.

Monica: That is wild.

Ross: "To Chandler". So what's it shaped like?.

Phoebe: Yeah is there a hair on it?.

Joey: What happens if you flick it?.

-A few months later-

   It has now been a year since Me and Zachary have broke up. Dale has convinced me to go out on dates recently. I have had a few night stands but no one I have been out with has really had what I look for. That must be because I don't know who I'm looking for...As I finish writing in my diary I hear a knock at my bedroom door.

Fran: Yes?.

Dale: It's Dale.

I open the door and leave my bedroom.

Dale: Chandler stepped out but he said I could come in.

Fran: That's okay. 

Dale: So aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?.

Fran: Okay. "Playing along". Dale why are you here?.

Dale: Well yours truly got a date with a very beautiful journalist. Who just so happens to be someone I've been interested in for the past few years but never thought she'd be interested in me.

Fran: Oh tell me more!.

   Me and Dale sit down in the living room and Dale tells me all about his coworker Lenora Ellis. As I listen I can see a look on him I never have before. Dale Alden is in love.

Dale: Y'know I don't think I ever felt so happy about going on a date with a woman before. I don't even feel nervous around her like I do with other woman. Except you of course.

Fran: "Chuckles". This is great to hear Dale.

Dale: I was on the phone with my parent's earlier and my mother said something about that when you are comfortable with a person that you aren't nervous around you just may have met your match. 

Fran: "Smiles". Your mother is a smart woman.

Dale: Oh I know she is. 

Fran: Shouldn't you be at home getting ready for your date?.

Dale: Oh that's right!. "Chuckles". I was just so excited to tell you the news.

   I smile at Dale and show him out and we say our goodbyes. I go back into my bedroom and lay back down on the bed and begin writing in my diary.

*Time Lapse*

Everyone is at Monica and Rachel's apartment when Chandler enters the apartment.

Chandler: Ok what is it about me?. Do I not look fun enough?. Is there something...repellant about me?.

Rachel: So how was the party?.

Chandler: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. Ok so what is it am I hideously unattractive?.

Phoebe: No you are not you are very attractive. You know what I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight I start questioning everything.

Chandler: Woah, woah I've put on a little weight?.

Phoebe: No not weight...y'know more like insulation.

Monica: Chandler I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out?. I can remake you.

Chandler: Oh you know I would but that might get in the way of my lying around time.

Monica: Please.

All: C'mon. Let her. 

Fran: Yeah!.

Chandler: Alright ok alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours I'm going home.

Phoebe: Your boobs are fine. Look I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. "Hugs him, holds hands apart from his back". Oh can't make....hands...meet.