R̶a̶i̶n̶Shinebow (GXG)

Chapter 1: Memories

Rose, I remeber every moment I've spent with you.

We were driving in bus. We were going on a school trip. I remeber I had told you I like if someone holds my hand and draw circles at its back with their tumb. I was touched you remebered that and did it.

It was summer. We were at your grandma's. We were playing football and tennis outside. We joked, we laughed, we had a great time. Talk somehow got to love and you told me: "Lilly, you know I don't imagine you with a boy. " "What then, with a girl," I asked in joke. "No, no" she got flustered "I mean as a strong and independant woman who doesn't need a man."

Oh if you knew how many times this memory replays in my head. I don't need a man... I need you.

Then one day it hit me. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with a girl. I carefully hid that fact.

We were on a school vacation. I had wanted a room with you. It sucks I hadn't goten it. We were playing basketball with other classmates. You were really sensitive about not being able to do things right. You didn't score a lot of points, so after the game had ended and everybody had left you sat on a court. You looked sad. I hesitated for a moment but then I went to you and quietly sat down a little bit away from you. I waited for you to start.
"You probably want to know what's wrong, right? " you sadly chuckled. "Yea" I sat closer to you. "It's just... I feel so useless, I can't do anything right." "No, don't be so hard on yourself. You're perfect, " I said softly and smiled at you.

And then the chaos had started:

It was one Friday. She was assigned to clean the clasroom. It was very late after the classes had ended and everyone had already left. I decided to stay and help her. We were just casually talking and somehow the topic became love. She was talking about a boy she likes, I had known that but I was still sad. I tried not to show sadness on my face, but she noticed.
"What's wrong? "
"Nothing," I lied.
"You can tell me." She thought for a second "OMG you like him? " Oh if she knew.
"No, no, no, don't worry. I like someone else" oh no. I'm in a big mess now.
"Who?" she excitedly asked with sparkling eyes. She's so cute. "Someone from our class" I heard myself say. What am I doing! There's no help for me anymore. Me and my big mouth!
"Ohhh," she smirked. She started listining names of all boys in our class. I responded with a 'No.' at every name. "Oh come on, tell me. I won't tell anyone" she pouted. Oh my god this girl will be the death of me. "I'm not lying. I like someone from our class but not any of them." Great I'm totaly screwed now. What, I can't lie to her when she's that cute, my mouth speaks before I could think.
I saw she's thinking, probably counting if she missed any name. Then her face lit up in realization."You... like... a girl? " she hesitantly asked. I nodded and looked away. I was kinda ashamed. I waited for her to curse at me or something, but she was just looking at me confused.
"Is it Sarah?" I shook my head. "Oh..." she realized, "you like me." I nodded in shame.
She turned around and walked to the other side of the classroom. I ran after her and grabed her arm. "Wait, I'm sorry!" Then she did something that shocked me. She wraped me in a hug! A spark of hope twinkled in my heart.
"I'm sorry" she mumbled above my head (oh, forgot to mention there's a pretty big height difference between us, I'm literally tiny). The spark of hope quickly faded away.
We pulled away and picked up our brooms. We cleaned the rest of the classroom in awkward silence.
I walked her home. Before her door she hugged me again. I somehow felt that's an apology.

After that everything went down the hill. She distanced herself and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable so I avoided her. The only thing I had was watching her from afar, listening to her laugh even if she wasn't laughing with me. I smiled when I heard her laughing. If she's happy I'm also happy.

It was on a christmas festival. You were on a stage singing and I was looking at you from the crowd amazed by your voice. I was smiling widely because I was still able to spend christmas, time you spend with your loved ones, with you, even if it's just watching you sing.

By the time school year ended we had started talking again. Not a lot tho and not anything important. We hadn't mention anything about my crush on her. I hated myself for how a simple 'Hello' could make my day better. I had fallen for her hard.
Then the summer holidays came. No, I can't see her for two months! I started counting down days until the start of the school year. I hated how much I depended on her.
When the holidays had ended I went to school the first day. I wanted to run to her and wrap her in my arms. I wasn't able to do that though. Her friends were already there and I can't just go there and hug her without questions from them.

Days passed and I was still watching from afar. I heard fragments from her talks with her friends and my heart shattered in thousand pieces. Aparently she had a boyfriend. I went to the restroom and locked myself in a stall. I punched a wall and fought my tears. "Why are you crying! You have no rights to do this. It's not like she's your girlfriend! " I scolded myself inside my head. Some tears escaped my eyes. I cried there silently. When the waterflow had stopped I washed my face and returned to the classroom. The teacher was already there. I excused myself and sat on my seat.

That was our last year before high school. The school year was nearing it's end. We started preparing for junior prom. I had to dance with a boy. Ew. I wished I could dance with her.
She was doing a background for a ceremony, since she was good at art. I was packing gifts for the teachers. I finished and went to her on the floor. She asked for my help and of course I helped.
When we finished we just sat at the floor in art classroom laughing and talking. It felt like old times. She was showing me some pictures that she had sent to her boyfriend in which she pouts her lips like she's kissing. "Kiss" she said and I really had to use all of my self-control to not do excatly that.

The day of the junior prom had come. I was the first one to arrive to the gym in which the ceremony was being held. She arrived next. I saw her in a beautiful pink dress and my mouth fell open. She came to me and of course I immediately compliment her:"You look beautiful. " "Thanks. You too." I noticed something on her dress needs to be fixed and pointed it out. She turned around and started walking in direction of the restroom. She stopped and turned. "Aren't you coming? " I happily ran after her. She was fixing her dress in front of a mirror and I was standing next to her amazed by her beauty. She turned to me and said:"You're pretty." Not just once or twice but multiple times. Did she forgot? What are you doing to me? I felt like my heart is about to burst.

After the succesful junior prom we went to a trip for an end of school. We went to a museum and a castle. When we had our break for lunch I was sitting together with her in front of a museum. I was glad we were fine now. But we probably won't see again after we finish this school year since she had chosen a different high school than me. This means I have only two days left with her, including today. She suddenly said: "I'm thirsty, I've drunk everything I had with me." I had an extra bottle that I won't drink anyways so I gave it to her. "No that's yours." "No you can have it. I'm not gonna drink it anyways," I insisted. She reluctantly took the bottle from my hand. Her friends were looking weirdly at me but I stopped caring about what other people think about me. I don't have a lot of time left with her. I have to use the time I have left.

My most feared day has arrived. The last day of school. We just went to a walk around a nearby lake with our teacher and then got our report cards. I went to my locker to empty it and there I met her. I was so sad that today is probably the last time I will see her. Because she won't want to meet me after this. I went to her and said:"Can I say my goodbye?" "Oh? Of course." I wrap my arms around her torso (short girl problems) and say:"I'll miss you. I better not hear about you doing anything bad. Be careful, okay." "Awwww" she said. I was confused but didn't ask her. "I won't do bad things I promise." "Okay, bye" I said sadly, took my things from my locker and started walking away. I turned around one last time and ran my eyes around the school. I'll miss this place, not as much as this one girl tho. I looked at her and smiled. I waved at her one last time and exited the school.