033| Catch Me Up

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I know a lot of things, cause I'm smart and stuff.

I know so much bullshit about life, love, happiness, even though sometimes we can't receive happiness. I'm not saying that I'm not happy, I'm exhausted but happy.

I never got to 'announce' my engagement to friends or family, it was just the two of us. We never really had the whole wedding thing either. There was a part of me that wanted to celebrate this, my fiancé and I. But life took over.

So I wanted to tell people this time. It was my news, my life, my feels to share. Although, it's quite hard to talk to the cocky, self-involved people of the Avengers Towers.

It's also impossible to talk when Clint brings a very talkative stray home.

"We have some news!" I had called everyone but Tony and Steve to the training room, a thing I did daily.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have an issue with you Y/N, you too Wanda!" A voice declared, followed by a grumbled 'for fucks sake' made by a tin man.

"Sam can we-"

"You too are like Romeo and Juliet without the death! You leave and have a shitty wedding with probably shitty flowers and shitty suits. Not only do I not get to plan and have complete control of your special day, but I don't get so much as an invite!" Sam rants to me.

"Well, the good news is-" I tried to speak.

"I have some news!" Clint burst through the door, his news hiding behind him.

"Who's the lady of arrows?!" Thor called out.

"Oh my god, you're Thor! And you're Natasha Romanoff! And you're Y/N Maximoff, you are like, the coolest!" She fangirled, Clint, looking done with life.

"And you are?" I asked her.

"Sorry! Sorry, I'm Kat Bishop, Ladyhawk.." She answered.

"Ladyhawk?!" Clint looked up to his sugar child.

"The name is a work in progress.." She shrugged.

"There is another hyped up confused woman here, her name is Katy, you too would get along very well.." I pondered where Katy was, or what she was doing, or who she was talking to.

I was concerned, to say the least.

"Can I please say what I was going to -"

I mean we should know by now that Tony and Steve have a sense of superiority and dare I say, a god complex. They never let me speak or dare I say, live without a bomb in my neck.

"Why weren't we called to this meeting?!" He yelled as he burst through the doors with his followed Captain Small Dick scurrying behind him.

"Disrespectfully, fuck off.." I turned to him and back to the group.

"I'm sensing some tension.." Kate whispered to Clint.

"You don't know the half of it.." He whispered back.

"That's a good point Clint, some of our new friends here don't know anything so, we need to teach them.." I think it was time for one of my best ideas ever to make its return.

Culture class.

One by one, the cultured and uncultured flicked into a room, Fluer and Omar making an appearance through Zoom. We were about to make like One Direction and Story of My Life this shit.

"At the age of 14, the billionaire with daddy issues and no feelings picked me up from my apartment. I was in the foster system for a while, ran away, got a job-" I paused, "It's Fred's Dinner still open?"

"It closed down last year.." Nat revealed.

"I'm so gonna cry about that later." I did in fact do that, "So, I joined the Avengers. Went on missions, became the icon I am by pissing Captain would fuck America if it was a person off. After being there for almost two years, we went on a mission and met the Maximoff!" I signalled to the twins, Pietro took that moment to bow and demand an applause.

"Sit down, you're not important!" Wanda dragged him back into his chair.

"For a while, Pietro was hitting on me, he even gave me a pair of handcuffs for my birthday. It was tough when he found out I was using them on his sister.." I laughed.

"Very funny.." Pietro muttered with a straight face.

"I met my biological parents, found out I was more powerful than anyone thought and got a cool hero name, Madam Mayhem. I was the best bitch and my Dads wedding and then shortly after I found out my life was a lie and there was an explosive in my neck. The Dumblewhore, Entitled rich bitch and Steve sucks no dick put it there. Nick Fury tipped me off on that one. So I left, with Wanda, who I proposed to that very day." I smiled at her.

"Disrespectful.." Sam mumbled.

"I went off for four years, became a wanted fugitive, crashed some events, because a literal queen and stuff. I adopted Celestes with Wanda, gathered a team who all died to Thanos. So, I returned here, to kill him in like five months. Any questions?" I turned to the crowd.

"Why couldn't I plan the wedding?!" Sam yelled.

"Maybe you can plan this one?" Wanda asked, lifting up her hand to reveal the ring.

"Last night we got re-engaged, to have an actual wedding.." I smiled.

Sam was quiet while everyone else was congratulating us, then he left the room. Five minutes later he arrived in with a massive binder, an album really.

"This is your wedding. I planned it about six years ago, I have updated it as time passed. I will say no more.."

Yes, it was kinda creepy that he had planned out everything down to the honeymoon itinerary, but that's just how my stepfather rolled. It was scary accurate too, mans had explained absolutely everything.

But now that everyone is caught up to speed, some light grape murder is on my mind.

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