037| Lifes No Fairytale

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I despised fairy tales growing up.

Happy endings, people getting everything they'd ever hoped for and more. It was a jealous thing, I may be stubborn but, at least I'm self-aware.

A few months went by, time passed too fast. I saw a group of Avengers that were stronger than ever before, channelling power and making power moves. Strange left, he caught wind that Tony and Steve were spilling truth and took a get out of jail card. I hadn't seen Fury since.

I wake up tired, you know that it's like to get twelve hours of sleep and wake up needing to take a nap? Although most nights I ran on 56 minutes of sleep, maximum. I should listen sometimes, my stubborn nature is gonna get me killed.

The Guardians reported back to me every so often. Providing time, planet location and speed. Today we were two months and twenty-three days away from the attack, approximately.

I've had a lot of friends in my life, but currently, my punching bag was my best friend. I hit it, punched it, bled my hands against it until I felt lightheaded. I stayed up until I was on the verge of dropping and that was life.

There's one thing in this life I know and the word starts with P.

Pain.

Everyone goes through it don't they, suffering, What I have, what a therapist would tell me, is PTSD. Maybe this fuels my obsession with revenge, maybe it supports it as a motive. When someone reminds me of my title, my captain status, it reminds me of a failed reality. I'm cynical, I get it. But that's what I feel.

"You're stressed.." A familiar, wise old ass said, I knew who it was even through the dim light of the room.

"And you're bored. What's wrong Loki, Omar busy?" I joked, taking another hit.

"That was one time!" They defended.

"Bet you wish it was more.." I said, letting out an exhausted sigh as I continued punching.

"Y/N, when's the last time you had a day off? Or a good rest?" They asked.

"I'll have a day off when this is all over. Cece's second birthday is a week afterwards. I have something to work towards." I explained.

"You need to take a rest, please.." Loki begged.

"Sleep is for-" I punched harder this time, "-the weak. I have a level of stamina."

They stopped. Stopped begging and pleading, maybe unless at this point. Maybe more begging was needed.

"Y/N!" Another voice yelled, "Sleep, now!"

"Peter, you'd be doing the same thing. I remember you not sleeping when you had even the tiniest of missions because you had to be alert." I laughed, feeling the exhaustion hit again.

"Yes but, you need to rest." Peter tried to convince me.

"Both of you need to relax. I can handle a bit of work, I'm not sixteen anymore. You would have to peel me away from my bed when I was that age.." I laughed.

"If you don't co-operate then I'll get Wanda!" Peter threatened.

"Do you think you're scary?"

"I think I'm terrifying.." He shrugged.

I felt a rush of dizziness hit me at that moment, but I quickly relocated my focus to the conversation. Spells of dizzy mature weren't uncommon recently.

"I'm going to get her, be scared!" Peter ran off, leaving Loki alone with me.

"The first day I met you I thought only one thing. This child is going to be a nightmare-"

"Ouch.." I interrupted.

"I'm not finished. The more time I spent with you, the more understanding of you that I became. You were hurt, cast aside and decided you needed to take revenge and fix things.." Loki explained.

"I do not need to fix things!"

"You need to fix Thanos, fix peoples lives, fix peoples problems, fix my hair!" Loki yelled.

"You looked like you dipped your hair in grease every morning. If I put a match on that, there's no telling what would happen.." I fake shivered, my head feeling lighter with each movement.

"Your stubborn ass is gonna get you killed.." Loki turned the conversation back to its purpose.

"I'm fine-"

"Stop saying your fine unless you really mean it.." The interrupted.

"You should-"

Then the worst of it hit, the strick of dizziness and the feeling that my mind was slipping.

"Y/N are you-" Loki rushed over.

But before he could get there, my world went dark and my head reached the floor.

Sometimes in fairytales, the characters show weakness. I never did that, your enemies can use weak traits against you.

Maybe that's another reason as to why I despised those stories. Cause life's no fairytale.

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