Trauma Times And Pain Lies

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Shelby brushed her hair fresh out the shower. Lips twisted into a frown knowing she had therapy today. Being cracked open when you sealed things so tight was mentally and physically draining. It was a required part of her treatment though. So no matter how much she hated it she had to do it. Her computer flashed with Skype as Jordan's face popped up on screen. Shelby flashed a genuine smile answering the call. 

"Hello beautiful." Jordan smiled, laying eyes on her friend in her rare form. No makeup, no flashy clothes. Just regular old tank top bare face Shelby. 

"Hi." 

"How are you?" Jordan questioned, Shelby sighed continuing to brush her hair. 

"Making it, ready to go home and hug my baby." She answered. 

"I know your sixty days are up in two weeks. You're almost done. Hang in there, everyone is so proud of you Shel." Jordan spoke, truth in her words. In truth getting Shelby to actually go was a struggle and a half. She refused to acknowledge her addiction. A week after the trip she had gone out drinking heavily and got pulled over. Jordan flew out to be her voice of reason. 

"I'm going to finish." Shelby stated, she wasn't quitting this. The beginning was rough but she damn well pushed through. 

"How is Baby Daddy and Kennedy?" Jordan questioned. 

"Enjoying all the time together." She answered bitterly, a hint of jealousy at their freedom. 

Jordan hummed she had heard of Kennedy's father, but had never met him until this rehab situation. This man was a ghost to them all. He was an apparent accident. An embarrassing one in Shelby's eyes. You would think he'd be some ugly crazy looking man. Jordan wasn't sure if it was his face that made him an embarrassment......or the fact that he was 10 years her senior. She needed to meet this man one day. If she could talk Shelby into not hiding him. He seemed like a very nice wholesome guy. Overly supportive in a way that irked Shelby but she needed. He was structured and Shelby was obviously running from that. Maybe therapy would help her look past dollar signs and see the inner workings of someone. 

"And his other kids?" 

"He has two and they are in college. So she doesn't get to see them often, but apparently she's skipping this week's visitation to go visit them." Shelby sourly answered. 

"What's wrong with her seeing your stepchildren?" Jordan teased, getting a glare from Shelby. 

"Not happening!" 

"Mhmm." Jordan snickered. 

"You talked to Quentin?" Shelby carefully tossed out. 

"No....no one has. Not even Murch. Why Shelby? It's not anything crazy right?" Jordan answered, ready to hang up if need be. 

"No....my therapist wanted me to apologize. It's been real tough here J, I.....I feel bad. What I did was fucked up. I've been angry for years and I take it out on people and I just want to apologize to him and her." Shelby admitted, Jordan's eyes softened staring at her friend. 

"Awww babe..." 

"And I've come to accept that I missed my opportunity with him. It's no one's fault but my own, he moved on. I've been trying to learn how to let go and know that....just because I dont hold you tight doesn't mean you're leaving." She continued, straight from the heart. She felt the pressure of tears coming. She couldn't front like she reneged on that thought most days, but it held truth.

"Mia used to be my...diary I guess. No one ever forced me to...I guess heal before. Therapy is rough but.....its made me realize that all of you guys are the greatest people to have close. Normal people would have given up on me, but you guys tolerated me at my most hateful and for that I'm regretful and appreciative." Shelby voiced, starting to cry. 

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