when they became villains [draco malfoy] {book 2}

207

Only when a firm, brown brick wall materialized in front of her did Astrid finally breathe. Her brain still swam with all the loud noises that had been and she could hear the loud protest arising by the ministry building. Astrid had only apparated a few streets down into an alley she had once passed while roaming the streets of London. Somebody had taken her there once, so she thought, but she couldn't remember who. Would that even have mattered if she knew? They all were staying in the past for a reason.

A headache was growing at the back of her head from all the noise, all the smell, all the houses; the only thing that was the same was the cold of her surroundings - frightening yet familiar. How long had she been freezing in that cell? How long had she thought she would remain there?

Astrid reached out and touched the bricks of the wall. She tilted her head upward and opened her mouth to taste the falling snow on her tongue. She pinched a spot over her Dark Mark as hard as she could, until she could feel it bleed. It was a spot that had developed scarring for that was the only way she could tell whether what she was witnessing was real or not. Her hallucinations went away if she hurt herself bad enough. The Aurors would leave when she started bleeding. 

This moment... was real alright.

She dropped her hands by her sides and inhaled the crisp winter air. What was she supposed to do now? Where was she supposed to go?

Her feet carried her out of the valley and she began a stroll. Her eyes roamed the area, a town south of London where witches and wizards habituated but muggles mostly steered away from because of the tales of the 'mysterious' things that had happened there. She watched two kids play in the snow while a woman sat on a stool, reading some book, a warming spell cast over herself. Astrid felt the comforting fitness of the wand in her hand and tilted her head upward again. Freedom tasted so good.

A hard gasp made her lower her chin back down. She saw a frightened woman pull her children aside. Her hands held the kids but her eyes were glued to Astrid's chest and neck. For a split second, Astrid had forgotten, but now, the deep hatred arose within her again. She'd carve each and every one of those dark spots out herself if only that was possible. She had tried, receiving her 17th dinner and breaking a plate in that wretched place, but they had stopped her before she had been able to go through with it.

Astrid bent a bit to zip up the coat they had given her and then hid her hands in her pockets, shrinking into the coat. The corner of her lip rode up and she pushed her head between her shoulders, restarting the walk. 

What if they try to put me back again? Merlin, I'm hideous.

People stared at her as she walked down the street. Astrid didn't know where to go, but she wouldn't walk into an alley where she could be cornered. She would not go to the halfway house she had managed to be freed from for she was done with all the Auror bullshit. She never wanted to see any of those people again. It was only her luck that she would have to return to them for monthly checkups because of her probation. That and she had nowhere to go.

Why are they all staring?

She had not seen this many people at once in years. The cold sweat forming on her back and her palms weas inevitable - inevitable and filthy, and disgusting. Just walking down a street made her heart thud in her chest

For the love of Merlin, Astrid, why cannot you be normal?

She drove her nail into her palm until it hurt.

The eyes of the onlookers seemed so big, so intense. What could they see? The midday sun was so bright. Bright, bright, bright in front of her it hurt her eyes, her brain. Why was it thudding? How could the world be so loud?