𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐘 ᵖᵒˡˢᵒⁿ

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝟭𝟵

TW: SUICIDE, SMOKING, MENTIONS IF GUNS, MENTIONS OF BLOOD

song: sara (live version) by we three

PLAY WHILE READING!!

"baby, it's your 19th birthday today, why don't you invite a few friends over?" Jaden asked as he twisted another piece of nessas hair around his finger. nessa sighed and nodded, "i guess that could be fun. i'll call charli and ask if her dixie and noah wanna come, and sab and coop." she said softly picking her phone up from under the blanket. her and jaden sat on the couch and watched TV.

a few minutes later, nessa out her phone down. "they can come. they'll be here in an hour." she answered. Jaden nodded, kissing her head. "go get ready." he smiled. nessa nodded, standing up. she walked to the stairs and saw her parents walking down. "hey amor." Colson smiled, "hey." she said giving a small smile. "happy birthday ness." he said kissing her head. "thank you dad." she said. "happy birthday baby." Pete said giving her a small hug. she smiled before walking up the rest of the way. she walked to her room and went to that same locked box that was under her bed when jaden was kidnapped. she grabbed the gun out of it after she unlocked it. she made sure it was loaded and she put it somewhere only she would find it. she walked to her close, grabbed a pink chanel, extremely oversized hoodie and black spandex. she put her hair in a slick back bun and did light make up. she grabbed light pink and white shoes and white long socks, rolling them when she put her shoes on. she thru her hood over her head partially and grabbed her nic off her dresser.

when she walked downstairs, all of hers and jaden's friends were there. after she took her seat next to her boyfriend, laying on his lap, they all just decided to hang out and watch movies. the only thing nessas brain could focus on was the waiting loaded gun.

LITTLE NESSA

a few hours later, she grabbed a few bottles of alcohol from their liquor room because everyone wanted to drink because it was her 19th birthday, but truth be told, she'd been drinking straight probably since last thursday. her brain was filled with so much thinking and wishing but she didn't want it too. no matter how many times she tried to stop it, she couldn't. she couldn't hear a sound because she's locked in a prison.

LITTLE NESSA

"nessa, why the hell are you acting sorta sad?" Tana asked. nessa shrugged, taking a hit of the blunt. "ya, your weed never lasts anymore. you got that shot yesterday night." Landon answered. Nessa looked at him and scoffed, she looked then in the eye and lied, "i'm fine." she said getting up. it was around 2 am now. "parties over. y'all know where y'all can sleep, y'all seem like y'all wanna hang out still but i'm going to bed."

LITTLE NESSA

it was 6:10 in the afternoon and nessa hadn't shut an eye. she couldn't sleep without Jadens arms around her. she felt safe. "he must've fallen asleep on the couch considering i haven't left my room." she thought to herself. she had it bad tonight. she could barely even add 2 or 3 reasons why she's glad, so i guess that's why she grabbed her pen and pad.

it was 6:14 and she could barely even read, all the words she had written down on why it was time for her to leave.

nessa walked to her bathroom and grabbed the blade that was in a hidden compartment in her bathroom closet. she went back to right beside her bed and stood there. she rolled her sleeves up and she held the blade to her wrist and kept piercing her skin with the sharp metal.

her phone was on the ground and she could barely hear it ring.

she couldn't hear a sound.

couldn't feel a single thing.

there was blood pouring out of nessas arm, getting all over the bed and the floor.

it was 6:15.

she was on her knees.

blood on her sleeves while her lungs wouldn't breath.

nessa made a big smile spread across her face as she laid down on the ground. even though her eyes were watering and her body was shivering, she knew what was happening. i'm doing it. she thought. then that's when the bedroom door was rushed open. there stood

Alabama

Landon

Jaden

Travis

Kourtney

Pete

and Colson.

6:23.

nessa saw them start crying as they all started screaming her name. she regretted every single last thing she did, but she didn't wanna be here anymore. "nessa baby, please stay with me. you cant leave me like this." Jaden cried, lightly tapping her face. nessa heard sirens. she didn't do it. she built up enough air and strength to pull jaden to her for a small kiss, "i love you."

and with that...

her eyes shut. she could hear everything still. and what she heard was not good. she heard jaden let out a loud, deep scream. "i need you." she heard shortly after, more soft this time.

she felt jaden's body stand up, she could feel him staring at her. "jaden..." she heard Pete say. Jaden looked up at him, "what." he said softly, as hot tears poured down his face. Pete shook his head, with a sad look on his face. he handed Jaden the note.

hey mother fuckers

i love y'all so much, so please never forget that. but if you're seeing this, y'all are finally seeing what was going on underneath your noses and under my sleeves. i know i told y'all i stopped self harming, but i recently started as you can see. but i want you to play these songs.

play this when i'm gone ~ machinegunkelly
you're so awesome daddy. i love you so much.

baby don't cut~ BMIKE

sara (live version) ~ we three

and lastly,

pray ~ jxdn
my bestest boyfriend in the whole world. i love you.

the texts and shit i was getting was too much. the ppl who some how knew about dad..the people saying i'm a home wrecker and that i need to kill myself. and down to the fact that i'm just genuinely not happy. i'm so sorry i did this too yall but i couldn't live how i was living anymore. i love you babies.

SINCERELY
nessa barrett

𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮, 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬 . 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙜𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙠𝙪𝙡𝙡!

~𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙚