BLYTHE. (noun) Happiness, cheerfulness. Someone who's joyful.
Zoe doesn't remember the exact date she got ill. All she knows is that once she was fine and then she wasn't. Unable to find a way to cure her depression, at the tender age of eighteen, s...
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It's starting again. That's all Zoe could think as she drove all the way to the hospital Sawyer was admitted on. Her whole body was buzzing in nerves, she wondered if she was going through a panic attack with how much she was shaking.
Her phone was unusually quiet. There was no call from those people. She had expected a call where they'd warn her, remind her of her place but nothing of that sort happened. She'd never thought there'd come a day where she'd anticipate their call. But right now she felt hopeless like a mouse stuck in a massive labyrinth being observed from above.
Not knowing what was going to happen to you in the future was a terrifying thing.
When she arrived at the hospital's parking lot and turned off her car, she remained seated inside. There was no courage left in her to go up there and face Sawyer with her head held up high. It was her fault he was in there. She just knew it. The fact that he had this accident the day she received those roses could not be just a coincidence. It was a warning to her.
What if he blames me?
She was sure Sawyer would never but still she was blaming herself enough to drill it into her head that it was her fault and even if he did not blame her he knew that too.
Then she was ashamed. She was ashamed of the mess she was in. She was ashamed that Sawyer would have to see her like this. She was ashamed that she was no longer the little girl he knew. She was ashamed and almost angry at him for finding her after so many years that he disappeared. She was just ashamed of everything. She was ashamed of herself, of the person she had become.
He had not changed at all while she had changed so much. She was sure she had turned into an ugly person that did not deserve to be by his side. She wondered what he'd thought when he found out that the sweet, innocent, cheerful little girl was no longer there. She wondered if he was disgusted when he found out she was now nothing but an object, a product made to satisfy people's desires. She wondered if he ever felt disgusted when recalling the number of people she'd had to allow touch her body.
She wondered how long it'd take for him to realize she was not worth it and leave.
Everyone left. She'd never had someone by her side for a long time. He'd inevitably leave as well.
Zoe hit the steering wheel in agitation, regretting all the life decisions she'd made to end up here.
If only I had stayed away from him. If I had ignored my feelings.
And yet knowing all of that, she could not make herself go face him and break things off.
She took in a deep breath and clenched her hands into fists as she mentally strengthened herself for what she was about to see. A man she did not know was standing in front of Sawyer's room. She felt as if she'd seen his face somewhere but she ignored him and her curiosity and stepped inside.
