i spent my night laying on the bathroom floor. hydrating the carpet with my tears. my sobs echoing through the tiles. i don't want to continue living. it's more and more difficult each day to see the point in going on. i don't want to feel the pressing fear anymore. i don't want to feel paranoid. i don't want to keep thinking. my mind is obsessive. shock is an understatement to how i've felt these past few weeks. i was sexually harassed and yet again i froze. i didn't speak. i didn't run. i did nothing. staring blankly at the group of boys screaming obscenities, shoving photos of their penises in my face. blinking slowly. the blankest stare. when will i have a response other than freeze? chastising myself as i walked to my responsibilities. angry that once again i let things happen; sitting in the backseat of my mind instead of making any move to protect myself. but chastising turns to belittling where i try to convince myself that since i wasn't physically harassed i'm overreacting. and i go on with my day pretending nothing has happened? until i'm alone. laying on my bathroom floor it hits me how unsafe i feel at school, how unsafe i feel around men. how worried i am that a complete stranger could hurt me, and how likely i am to do nothing.
YOU ARE READING
the night the stars fell - poetry collection
PoetryPLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS this poetry collection includes themes and descriptions of: sexual violence/assault/harassment PTSD hallucinations depression anxiety self harm disordered eating in my experience feeling seen through works of writ...
