the night the stars fell - poetry collection

angry

i used to never get angry. it was just a feeling i didn't experience. i would always blame myself; depressed at the idea that something went wrong solely because of me. but recently, there's been a change in my life; where i freely experience intense emotions of anger. where i am not sad wondering how could they do this to me, but instead enraged at the fact that they thought they could. i don't feel small anymore. i don't feel insignificant and deserving. they knew fully well that they would hurt me and disregarded any concerns for my feelings. when i apologized for making you look bad i meant it. but there was no apology deserved, you never should have told me that i deserved my assault. and i never should have apologized for crying. i'm angry that i valued your opinion so highly i was willing to undo all the work i had put into my self-worth that year. when i told you that i liked you, to smooth the awkwardness of your trying to kiss me, i only partially meant it. you never should have tried without my consent. i'm angry at myself for becoming attached, only for you to give up on us because i wouldn't owe you any sexual favors. i'm angry that i berated myself for panicking at your crossing my biggest boundary: touch. i should have listened more to myself. i'm angry at the way you make me feel, as if i can't do anything right, not even protect myself.