𝐅𝐢𝐱 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠

« 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐱»

✨

Around one year and three months ago

It's been two months already
since the boy got kicked out from
his parents, two months had passed
since he was living with Felix.

It was hard, very hard.

Jisung barely had any money
to pay his friend who was also
struggling to support himself so
even regular meals were somehow
impossible for the expecting boy.

He still went to school and
sometimes got a few leftovers
there but besides that, hunger
was his constant companion.

The baby was still growing each day,
always reminding him of what a
miserable life he has and how
stupid he could have been to
actually believe in love.

"God damn it,
can you just stop
moving for a moment!
I'll never understand these
texts if you keep doing that!"

Jisung screamed as he hit his
fist on the small table, scaring
poor Felix to death who had
just wanted to get some apple
juice for the boy.

"Jisung!"

"What?!"

"I know that you're frustrated,
I know that it's hard to
concentrate but-"

"No! No, you don't know!
You don't know how it's like
to have this kid moving around
in your belly and kicking your
intestines basically all the time!

You don't know what it's like
when your body reminds you
all the time that you haven't
eaten a decent meal in weeks
and you also don't know what
it's like when everybody stares
at you with that look
of pure disgust!

Thanks, I know that I'm fat
and bloated because of a
human growing inside of me,
please someone bring me back
to my planet where this
alien belongs!"

Alien.

Jisung really felt like an alien.

He felt disconnected.

So far away from everyone
and anything, alone in a place
full of people.

Not even Felix could take
those feelings away from him.

No one could.

"You're right, Ji. I'm sorry."

His heart ached when he
noticed those crystal tears
running down the boy's
chubby cheeks, tears of pure
frustration and sadness.

"Come here"

Felix smiled sadly and opened
his arms, his hand finding its way
to the boy's hair just to pet his head
when Jisung hugged him.

"It's okay, it's gonna be
alright somehow.
It always does, hm?"

But although the blue-haired
boy nodded, he didn't listen to
the other at all.

He didn't believe that it'd be
okay again, it'd probably just
get worse knowing his luck.

One day the child would be born
and he'd have to face the fact that
he couldn't give the kid
anything at all.

No food, no clothes, no home.

No love.

He'd disappoint someone again,
someone who hadn't asked to
be made and it was his fault that
the child was even there.

How can someone live with
the knowledge that they had
ruined someone's life even
before they were born?

Jisung didn't know.

He felt bad that he wasn't able
to love the baby but love was
something he had abandoned
a long time ago.

Or maybe he just didn't feel
anything at all anymore.

All day, every day he gave his best,
since day one.

Even before his parents
had kicked him out.

But it was simply never enough.

He had never been enough
for anyone.

Jisung had given up fighting
for his life a while ago, he just
wondered why he was actually
still living his miserable life.

Maybe he didn't want
to leave Felix like this.

Or maybe he just didn't want to
kill the child with him, that was
the last thing he'd do on purpose,
to ruin the baby's life by taking it.

The baby was here now,
Jisung would at least give
them the chance to live.

Even if that's the only thing he
could give his child at all.

✨