Life is Funny Like That

I'll be darned if you read this last author's note

one last song for our collection. had to finish strong with the heavy-duty feelings

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hi there :)

the closing thing for my third book is here. my mind is blown. 

you know, just a few years ago, if you asked me how to write a novel or novella, i would laugh at your face because i had no idea, and tbh, i still don't lol (👉ﾟヮﾟ)👉
but back then, i never would have guessed i would take it this far and actually have enough inspiration to write anything at all. i never ever pictured myself as a writer but life is funny like that.

Updates like this prove to always be bittersweet. i feel a cocktail of emotions every time i write one of these. it's sad and stuff that i finished a well-invested daydream, yet it makes me want to move to my next project (ahem), get my knuckles cracking and start my keyboard on fire with my glorious imagination (but we all know me actually writing is less likely than cats making it to heaven or.... yeah, you get the point).

so, the long awaited reason for this book + why the heck i created a loser like Ady (jk, i love him to bits):

there's a couple of reasons (a lot actually).

first, the idea came to me while i was staring into the void. I was in a particularly dry patch in my writing; a null period, one might say (or not). it was a time in my life where I decided romantic relationships are overrated and i need to avoid them at all costs because:
       a. why risk that kind of pain? seeing the relationships around me fall apart wasn't enticing. it looked like more pain than what you get back. so many ways that it could go wrong; betrayal, divorce, falling away from the faith, cheating, fighting, in-law hate, etc. the possibilities are overwhelming and terrifying. call me an overthinker idc
       b. if I don't have to get in a relationship, i can get a dog, buy a beach house in Texas, shave my head, live on muddy buddies and carrot sticks, and nobody can tell me otherwise cuz i can be friggen independent. (i prolly wouldn't do this but a girl can dream)
       c. seriously, the fun aunt has never sounded so good and you can't be a fun aunt if you're married with six kids. it can't happen.
       d. in reality, i could be a nun, that always works...

so then i wondered if INFPs sometimes felt this way. they are hard-core romantics, but could they fear love and commitment to the degree of avoiding it like the plague?
✨ THAT'S WHEN IT STRUCK ME ✨
a die-hard romantic, absolutely refusing to fall for their soulmate.
what a concept, ammi right? and it all came from my very own mind!

the story started out in my head as something like an interview crew that caught a hold of a lonely and miserable 27 year-old bachelor in denial. this crew would constantly chase him with a microphone and video camera and plague him with obnoxious questions about his love life, trying to get to the bottom of why he is running away from girls and all things related to commitment and love. it had the same vibe as like the Trumann show or a reality tv/soap opera sort of thing. i think comedy was the primary genre for this.
at the time, i didn't have a reason for why he was running in the first place, but i later found out i was projecting my own reasons onto him. behind my own back. subconsciously. weird.

all of the stereotypes and cliches in books these days are really rigid and stale. i needed a fresh concept. 
i wanna say that i don't see a lot of guys showing vulnerability in books (at least in the YA fic world). they are always the ones taking care of the girls with their giant muscles and chiseled jawlines, but it's never the other way around. i think society has trained men to see emotion and especially fear as weakness, and they are only allowed to show it, maybe to a significant other. even with the normalized idea that men have emotions, heaven forbid you see one cry! but we have to address that if you're human, you have emotions. if you're living on this planet, full of triggers, full of hardships and unbearable feelings, you have to have an outlet. so why would it be weird to cry, or be scared of spiders, or talk about the beauty of life, or tell people that they are loved? can't guys be afraid of the dark, and cry when they watch a sad movie? it bothers me cuz i see that emotional suppression everywhere, and these people aren't living their authentic lives cuz of social standards and fear of judgement. and so, since i couldn't find a book for this, i decided to write my own.