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Early afternoon on Wednesdays are often slow. A group of seniors gather once a week to play cards because they know it's quiet. Even the music goes somber with the atmosphere. With all of the coffee served, a burger here, and a milkshake there, the diner is at its slowest point.
Daffy groans into the table, her face smashed against the surface and her elbows flanking both sides of her head. The sun shines on her messy bun and already sun-burnt neck. Her sundress reflects a light flowery pattern on the walls and counter around her. She doesn't notice the heat of the summer waves, but draws out a long and loud moan.
Adrian sits beside her, hoping Kimmy doesn't find him hidden behind Daffy's attention-drawing state. The little flower reflections dance on him as he watches her wail in her grief. Leaving his raspberry pie for later, he grabs her fork and helps himself to her waffle while she isn't looking.
"I can't believe I just spent 200 dollars on a pair of jeans and a perfume SAMPLE!!" Daffy groans for the third time, raising her voice on the last word. Her head pounds the counter in punishment. "Online shopping is my greatest weakness... Why am I so stupid?!?" She lifts her face up to Adrian's stuffed cheeks, squinting into the sunlight.
He softly smiles, his mouth still full of her waffle. She doesn't seem to notice.
"Adrian, do you ever have buyer's remorse?" Daffy sighs, putting her forehead back into place.
"Yah," he stuffs another forkful of sumptuous waffle in. "Mall vuh ymph."
She holds still for a split second.
"Hmm, that didn't help me feel any better," she decides.
"Well, you can return them, right?" He lifts a brow.
Daffy's chin quivers as she looks up at him.
"I-uh...." She winces as if stepping on a lego. "I bought them on a sketchy sight!"
"What does that mean?"
"No free returns! I don't even know if they're real!" she wails, her voice rising above the radio. "What if the whole thing's a sham and I don't get anything?" A few heads turn.
Adrian clears his throat, giving a quick look around to make sure Kimmy isn't coming towards them with a broom for whacking purposes.
"Hey, I'm sure it's fine, Daffy. But if they're not the real deal, you've learned your lesson, right?"
"Yeah," she nods aggressively, pulling back her plate and snatching her fork from him. She takes a large bite and Adrian watches the tension in her shoulders dissipate. Dang, her thing really is waffles. "I just feel so... guilty. And... like I'm the worst person on earth. Like, I coulda bought a homeless person a meal, or restoked my waffle supply... Actually I could've done all those things and more, but... but I bought a pair of jeans!!" Looking at him for a stretched moment in thought, she sighs a bit longer than last time. "What if the jeans are a total rip-off?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know, they end up looking horrible on me and stuff...."
"How is that even possible?"
She ignores his comment, maintaining a disdainful look.
"Models can make a potato sack look good but I unfortunately do not have that ability."
"I think you would look good in a potato sack..." Adrian mumbles.
"You think the jeans are gonna look like a potato sack?" Her face pinches into worry and regret. "I'm totally gonna look like a bag of potatoes! I can't believe I spent a fortune on a non-returnable potato sack!" Her fist, wrapped around the fork, bangs the table.
YOU ARE READING
Life is Funny Like That
Romance[Completed Novel] Burned by his past, Adrian is a salty human with a knack for avoiding romance like it's the plague. But destiny has other plans for him, specifically a girl with laundry detergent eyes and a serious addiction to waffles. It's lif...
