The Gap Year

Chapter 23

'Mother!'

This is too much. I pulled out the nearest wicker chair and slouched in to it, convinced from the physical symptoms I was experiencing that I must have taken that run with Liam after all.

'What are you doing here?' What is she doing here? The closest Mother has ever come to visiting Corfu is flying over it on the way to Santorini, yet here she is, her staple Missoni pashmina blowing in the gentle breeze, her eyes as glamourously dressed in Dior as ever. And where is Daddy? Surely she can't be here on her own? God they better not be getting a divorce again, for that's the last thing I need right now, having to counsel my drunk and emotionally distressed mother.

'Over here Terrance.' She called over to my ailing father, his face sweating and reddened as he dragged two unnecessarily large suitcases and a Balenciaga vanity case. Why can't she just have a rucksack and be done with it like everyone else?

'How long are you here for?' I braved to ask the question, my voice cracking with panic on observing what could easily be enough luggage to support a month long vacation from my parents.

'Oh just a few days.' My mother flapped her hands at me indicating that I wasn't to worry that she would be interfering, 'and don't panic, we're not staying at one of your hotels, we're staying at the five star one; what's it called Terrance?'

'Pegasus Towers?' I despaired at the thought of my parents entering directly in to the lair of Dave of the Head Rep. Dear Lord, please don't let Mother get drunk and start thinking she's Sandy on Grease night. This has to be some sort of warped Disney nightmare. If only my Prince would swoop and get me the hell out of here pronto. Wait, aren't I trying to escape from both my Prince's?

'So are you going to introduce me to this wonderful looking young man?'

Mother, grinning, was being as subtle as ever, clearly believing that she was about to meet her future son-in-law.

'Mother this is Liam. Liam this is my Mother.' I sighed.

'It's an honour to meet you Mrs Watson.' Liam held is hand out, naive that he was entering in to an unspoken gentleman's agreement with my own Medusa.

'Oh it's Jacqueline, please.' Is she flirting? 'And just what would bring a dashing young man such as yourself to Corfu, Liam?'

'I'm on my medical elective, I'm training to be a doctor.' Liam spoke proudly.

'A doctor, how fabulous! And such fate since I'm sure Emma's told you that attending medical school next term.'

'Yes she did mention it.'

'And did she also mention that her father, Terrance here, is a Consultant Psychiatrist?' I glanced at Daddy who was yet to be granted the opportunity to speak. 'Of course I wanted him to specialise in Oncology, but he's always been a hippie.' Not this again. 'That's where Emma gets it from; all this idealistic wafting about in the sun like she hasn't a care in the world.'

'That's right Mother, I don't have a care.' I really could throttle her already.

'Don't be sarcastic darling, it doesn't suit you. But if it's led her to meet you, Liam, then I'm convinced it was worth it. It reminds me of when I met Terrance at Bluebells in Majorca, except he was working at the bar of course, not on his elective, since the dirty lay-about had failed his second year.'

'But you told me that you met Daddy at a wine bar in Borehamwood?' Please Lord don't let her be mixing up her stories with another man.

'I did, but that was when he finally decided to get his act together and come back home. I guess you just needed to get it out of your system, didn't you dear?'

'Are we going to eat here then?' Daddy was clearly irritated to be the subject of Mother's rambling conversation yet again. 'I'd like to catch up with my daughter if she and her boyfriend would care to join us for dinner?'