WILDEST FANTASIES

FOUR

You haven't been this glued to your phone since you were sixteen, checking it every other minute.

You've regretted leaving the envelope on Harry's car about a thousand times, but then you talked yourself out of running away a thousand and one. If someone asked why you did it, you wouldn't be able to give them a coherent answer. Why exactly did you do it?

Because you can't stop thinking about the man and it's starting to get out of hands.

Because you've never wanted anyone this badly ever in your life.

Because you're convinced that you actually have a shot at him.

Because you can't just go on with your life knowing you didn't try to take the risk and see where it could have headed.

The teacher dismisses the class, it's your second to last today. You have some time before the next one and you usually meet up with Ramona for a quick coffee at this time, today is no different. When you get to the little coffee shop that's on campus she is already sitting at a table with two paper cups.

"Sorry, I ran into a bunch of high school seniors touring the campus and they started asking me questions," you sigh as you drop yourself into the empty chair at the table.

"I've seen some lately too. They are so cute, have no idea what they are getting themselves into," she chuckles.

She tells you about how she begged for a few extra points on her test today and the professor was in a good mood so she let her have the better grade. You're listening to her, you really are, but you can't stop yourself from checking your phone again and again. It's past noon and you haven't heard from Harry. He must have found the envelope by now so he chose not to use your phone you left on the note.

It's killing you, wanting to know what he is thinking about right now, or when he found it.

"Are you waiting for a text from Chris Hemsworth or something?" Ramona asks when she sees you check your phone for the tenth time in the past three minutes.

"What? Ah no, but I wish!" you chuckle nervously.

"So then what is it?"

"Oh, just... my mom is out shopping and she always sends me pictures to tell her my opinion," you lie. You have not told neither Ramona nor Kostas about the latest happening about the professor, last thing they know is that he asked you to drop your real assignment off in his office. They have no idea about what you found on his desk or that who Niall was. Or what happened in his living room...

"How is she?" Ramona asks.

"She is fine, lately she's been into Zumba," you chuckle. Your mom has a new hyper fixation every other week, but that's how she has always been.

"I'm glad you guys are talking," she smiles and you feel bad for leading her on. You not only just lied to her, but you haven't talked to your mom in about a month. It's been hard to find common ground with her since your grandmother passed away a few years ago. She basically raised you, your mom was only nineteen when she got pregnant, not at all ready to have a baby so your grandma was more of a mother while the woman who gave birth appeared to be a wild sister growing up. You never met your dad, your mom said he didn't want anything to do with a baby so young, but you have a feeling she didn't even know who the father was.

It's alright, you never judged her, though you definitely had a different childhood than most of the kids your age. But losing your grandmother was surely like losing a parent and you haven't been able to adjust to having a relationship with your mom without her. She was always the link between you and your mom, now you're both struggling to be mother and daughter for the first time in your life.