18- Before the Funeral

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Hi I feel like shit rn. I was supposed to get a puppy.. 7 hours ago. Then it was 3 hours ago. Then it was 2 and half hours ago. Now I'm supposed to get him in 3 hours and I'm so done with this bullshit rn. So ima write. :/. Also this might be on the shorter side.

-Dino POV-

I sighed. I don't wanna leave. I was still in the secret base with Woolf, my head on his shoulder.

"I have to go. The fake funeral is gonna start soon." I mumbled.

"Bye.." Woolf said.

"I'll be back in an hour or two.." I promised.

"You better. It's so lonely here." Woolf laughed.

"OK OK OK."

I got up and walked out of the base. I saw everyone else going to Laff's church too. I thought one thing and only one thing on the way to the church.

Woolf's not dead. You just saw him a minute ago. He's not dead. He's alive and perfectly healthy.

Because I knew. I'm easily influenced by my surroundings. When the fake funeral started? I was not gonna believe that he's alive.

Idk why I feel like I have to explain everything I'm doing but I do so. Uhm this is just like- preparing for the funeral because I'm feeling like shit rn so I don't wanna write sad funeral while I'm sad.

-Nadwe POV-

"BUT THEN I HAVE TO SEE MEME!" I screamed. Muffin and I were in the trees near the church. He was trying to get me to come to the funeral. I however, was highly opposed to the idea.

"GET OVER IT NADWE." Muffin yelled. I stood in shocked silence. Muffin never said much, much less yelling. "YEAH. YOU BIT HIM. EVER HEARD OF SELF-DEFENSE? IF WE DON'T GO IT'S GONNA SEEM LIKE SOMETHING'S UP." I looked down. "Or do you WANT to expose that Woolfster's alive?" He hissed quietly.

"Fine. Let's go. But if he comes near me-" I was interrupted.

"Then I'll-" Muffin was interrupted.

"You'll what Muffin?" Meme was behind us.

"H-how long were you listening?" I asked.

"Just long enough to hear Muffin threaten me. If, of course, you planned on doing something violent."

"You want me to finish my sentence? Fine."

Muffin punched him in the face.

And then Wo1fy punched him in the face.

"HA TAKE THAT, LOSER." She yelled, before disappearing forever.

"As I was saying, if he gets near you, then I'll punch him in the face." Muffin smirked.

-Crab Man POV-

"And now since I have no idea what to say during this dumb funeral, google time." I said to myself, pulling out my phone. "WHY IS THAT SO CHEERFUL. EW NO THAT'S TOO DEPRESSING. THAT'S JUST PLAIN WEIRD. THAT'S INSENSITIVE. THAT'S RACIST. THAT'S SEXIST. NO I'M NOT GONNA SAY 'LAFF LOAVES IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH AND MAKE YOU LIVE LONGER. THEN MAYBE YOU WON'T DIE LIKE THIS DUDE'. WHY ARE ALL OF THESE SO WEIRD?? NOT EVERYONE WHO LEADS A FUNERAL IS A PRIEST I SWEAR. ALRIGHT SCREW THE INTERNET. IMA JUST CALL UP PEOPLE TO SAY SOMETHINGS."

I'm not physically nor mentally prepared for this job.. What am I gonna do?!

-Socks/S0cks POV-

Half an hour until the funeral. I still have time to keep searching right? But where am I? How long have I been looking? How do I get out? And how long will that take? Do I need to attend? Will they think something's up if I don't? Blaza would worry. But if we don't find him, Oompa may die. Is he already dead? Did we take him to a remote place just to kill him? Did we even take him to a remote place? UGHHH. I HATE THIS. HOW THE HELL DID YOU MAKE IT SO WE CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Nothing. We had to do nothing. We actually have to do something so you CAN see what we do. However, we figured that this wasn't the best thing for you two to witness. GODDAMNIT. FINE. I'LL JUST HEAD BACK.

I sighed and went back the way I came.

-Laff/L4ff POV-

Give up. You'll never find him. I'S. DON'T. CARE. Oompa's my friend and I's gonna find him.

"But for now I's have to head back.." I mumbled to myself.

Problem. I was lost. WAIT. The first time I's transformed... DON'T YOU DARE.

I stopped fighting the transformation and was ejected from my's body.

Finally's out of my head!

I's did flip in the air.

Alright, times to get serious.

I flews straight up.

No lava, no gravel, or sands! Perfect!

I's looked where I was.

Alright! The forest on the left of my's church! Now we just prays that I can get back in my's body.

Luckily, L4FF hadn't moved. I forced my's ways into my body. I was back in control.

"Good thing I's brought a pickaxe and shovel." I smiled.

-Blaza POV-

"SOCKS!!" I yelled.

Where is that moron? I've been looking for half an hour!

"Hey Blaza."

I turned.

"AHH. WHAT THE- WOOLFSTER!?"

"Shhhh. I got bored so I took a walk." He smiled.

"Oh."

"Hasn't my funeral started by now?" He asked.

"Uh no. It starts in like 20 minutes."

"Oh shoot! Really? I better run back to the base then. It's not a funeral if EVERYONE knows I'm alive." He laughed. "Oh and Blaza?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful." He said.

I feel like that has a different meaning than I think it does here.

I would've asked him to elaborate, but Woolf was already gone.

-Oof's POV-

"Joocie! We don't have to go! Seriously! You're still not better! I'm staying here with you."

We were at the military base in one of the cabin things. Joocie was still tipsy after the battle. Even though it was like 2 weeks ago, his glass had only half-healed.

"No! I can make it!" He retorted.

"No. You can't. I've told Nadwe and Muffin to say that we're not coming since you're still better. We're staying here and that's final."

-Oompa POV-

"HELLO?! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!" I screamed.

So that's a no. I have to get out of here.

All I remembered after Laff turned into a robot was Socks panicking and doing the same. They must have knocked me out because the next thing I remember is being here. They took all my stuff other than my 8 stacks of Laff Loaves. It was gonna be a long wait...

-Woolf POV-

Alright. They've started by now. Right? Well Dino will back in a while. God it's so lonely here.. Well let's just hope all goes well.


I GOT THE PUPPY. HIS NAME IS OLLIVANDER AND HE IS VERY CUTE. Anyway on a more serious note, Happy New Year!! I meant to post this last night. Oh well. This was NOT on the shorter side- WAIT I JUST GOT A PICTURE OF HIM word count: 1070

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