Winter walked out the attic with puffy eyes. She expected no one waiting but there she was, the girl she loves.
"Lia," She called
The girl was waiting, leaning on the wall next to the door. She gave Winter a small smile.
"How did it go?" She asked.
Winter hugged her tight. She rests her head on Lia's shoulder as the girl combed her hair for comfort
"You're proposing? I didn't know that," Lia chuckled
Winter hummed, "You were listening? It was supposed to be a surprise but I guess it's not anymore."
They stayed like that for awhile. Silence. The only thing they can hear is the loud music blaring all over the mansion. And their heartbeats syncing against each other's chests
"We have to talk, baby." Lia pulled away from the hug.
"Lead the way." Winter replied
They ended up going to the rooftop of Giselle's mansion. The night was pretty, and it was cold. It is the type of coldness that reaches into their bones, as if their heart were a door left wide open to the icy wind, slamming only to open again
"What are we going to talk about?" Winter went closer and wrapped her arms around her. Giving warmth to their bodies, and it helped.
"Us."
The tone of Lia's voice was sad, Winter wondered what's wrong. Is she going to break up with her? But why?
"What do you mean by that?"
Lia faced her, her eyes tells that it physically hurts to speak, and she stayed silent. They were just staring at each other wondering what went wrong.
"I planned this reunion." She revealed
Winter couldn't find the words what to say next. Her eyes asking 'why'
"Remember when we got drunk in Taehyun's party? And you woke up the next day with a severe hangover?" Lia forced a laugh
Winter gulped. "That was months ago, Lia"
She ignored her comment,"I know you love me, Win and I'm sure as hell love you back. I was planning to propose to you as well days after that party, I know it's too fast but I can honestly picture a perfect life with you." She continued
"But your fate with Karina is already written in the stars. It's not going to be me. Perhaps, I just molded you into a better version of yourself for her." She laughed again, almost painfully
Winter remained silent. Everything is too much in a span of just a day.
"I was contemplating with myself if I should do this or not. I wanted to keep you to myself but it would be so unfair. Not only to Karina but also to you. I don't want to lock you in a marriage where you're not sure about how you feel." Their eyes met, and tears were already escaping her hazel nut eyes, like a rainy summer in the midst of march
"I love you Lia, please tell me this is not what I think it is." Winter desperately said, in the verge of another breakdown
"I know you do, baby. But your love for Karina is bigger than your love for me. I know because I can see. I can feel it, and even if you deny it to yourself everyone can tell, because the way you look at her is also the same way I look at you. Looking back, it needed to happen. What happened to us was real for awhile, and it was so good while it lasted. But all good things must come to an end right?" She asks with a strained smile
"It will hurt for awhile but you'll thank me for letting you go." She added, tears streaming down her cheeks. Glistening by the moonlight.
"Lia, I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby, please! Not like this." Winter fell into her knees, she hugged her waist
"Everytime you get drunk you call for her name, do you know that? It broke me the first time because I was the one there for you but your mind is on somebody else." Lia forced a chuckle, it hurts her but for the sake of their hearts she have to do this
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Winter kept repeating those words
"I planned all of this hoping you'll finally realize that it's still her, and that by the end of this all you'll break up with me and choose her. But, you chose me and I should be happy, Win. But, it's so fucking unfair for her, you broke her heart once again." Lia kneeled to faced her, she lifted her chin to see her face
"I'll leave after this. I know you still love her, she's your first love. And first love never dies."
"Winter, I'm officially breaking up with you. I still remember that day our eyes first acquianted, a trivial moment of almost nothing— yet the timeless beginning of everything but it has to end now. And I was happy in that two years. Our relationship was mostly a lie but atleast for a short while it was a beautiful one." Her voice broke a little at the last word
She smiled, but it was shaky, and her heart broke. She could literally hear it crack inside her chest. Winter reached out and touched the side of her face gently.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was hurting you. I'm sorry for making you give up on us." Her voice was only a whisper by the end
"We were almost perfect and I had to ruin it." Her voice was soft and patient. "I don't deserve any of you." She sighed
"I will always be here, if you need a friend. I'll just be somewhere around the globe, I don't know why you keep denying your love for Karina, but you have to face it Winter. Before it's all too late." Lia leaned in and kissed her on the cheek
"Are you going to be fine?" Winter's brown orbs stared directly into Lia's hazel nut eyes
"I will be fine but for now let me just distance myself." She replied
Winter looked down. Blaming herself for everything, she's hurting everyone around her.
Lia stood up, she wiped her tears away. "I almost had you, didn't I? I think a part of me always knew we'd never end up together. And it's okay. Goodbye Winter."
Winter remained kneeling, her knees were weak already. She hurt her. She hurt Karina. And she's hurting herself.
Lia walked away with her hand crossing over her mouth. She wanted Winter to stop her and tell her that it's her, that it's not Karina. But who is she kidding? She pushed the girl she loves away and this is what she wanted.
It's probably the saddest end to their relationship because she has to break up with Winter when she's still inlove with her. It soundes bizarre but it happens, because the truth is, as powerful and as thrilling and as wonderful as it may be, love isn't always enough and to be inlove doesn't always mean you're happy.
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Miss Pessimistic | winrina/jiminjeong
Fanfiction"Please, just this once... tell me you love me." Deep down we both knew it would only lead to pain... but we still got carried away. We risked everything even ourselves, it was getting destructive. Right then, I knew what we had to do, and that is t...
