When all dreams crumble

14. Maybe things can still get better

Matei 

March 1916, the next day

Jana is absolutely at here. I do know that because yesterday Dr John spoke with me and also brought the letter from Jana. Because I did not see [the eye bandage] I asked if he could read the letter, at the beginning I did not even realize that I was crying... till he said that 'Yes, your girl with hazelnut eyes really is here'. He also said that tomorrow that disgusting bandage will be removed [yippee!!] 

At yesterday night i was not able sleep well, because I was thinking two things; Jana and removing of this white bandage... Well now it is finally removed and atleast I am able to see normally again. Also I got to know that my right leg was so completely destroyed that it needed to be amputated from under the knee. I am so angry because I was used to be independent person, and now it does take some time that I can even get the prosthesis limb. 

For whole day I have been waiting to see my beautiful girlfriend, but Dr. John said that her shift lasts to six pm. The nurse situation at this hospital is bad, because many of those women started to work at here two or three years ago when their 'boys' left to war. Now they have lost their soldier the are not capable to work at here anymore. The most of nurses are female but there are couple of males at doctors. Those who have quit their soldier-career. I have made the decision that I won't came back to war [don't believe that I even could because of my leg], because it left so bad traumas for me.

Jana

The day is finally over, doesn't mean that I don't love this job...But some days are just worse than others. Those days are emotionally damaging... today we lost over 40 soldiers at here, they did not survive from operations. The most of those men were american than unknown ones. Jose came to here when she heard from those deaths. One of soldiers James was her fiance. She was so broken because of that. So I asked thirty minutes break so I could speak or just listen to her if she wants to talk.

Jose was so happy when I told that Matei is alive. She wants to meet him, the 'famous' boyfriend of me. I promised that we can go to see him tomorrow if she feels better. It felt so good to see my 'family' for so long time no see, I have been at here now couple of months. And I was not heard much from them. Was so good the hear that everything is going okay in my home country.