Hailee Steinfeld Imagines

⚠️Holding it in⚠️

⚠️TW- Sh⚠️

"I'll see in an hour, the photoshoot won't take long babe," Hailee said, kissing you goodbye. 

"See you, I love you," you say as she closes the door behind her.

When you heard the door shut, there was an emptiness inside you.

You slumped on the couch, head in hands. You never told Hailee when you felt like this because you didn't want her to worry. People knew you had a history of self harm but you seemed to hide it from the media well.

Your breaths became short, your mind was spinning. All you could feel was the built up anger and sorrow you've been hiding from Hailee, from the world.

Suddenly, without another thought, you walk towards a draw, pulling it open. You pull out the blade you had hidden away, hopping to have no use of it again.

You closed your eyes and let your anger out.

1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut.

You open your eyes, arm dripping of blood. Instant regret hit you. You drop to the floor, back against the wall.  All you could do was cry.

"Oh my god! Y/N!! What have you done to yourself." Your eyes snap open to see Hailee kneeling in front of you.

"I- what are you doing here," you pull away from her, shocked and embarrassed.

"I forgot my keys. Baby what happened, talk to me," she reached for a cloth that was hanging on the table next to her.

You searched for the words but all that came out was short breaths and tears.

"Oh Y/N, it's okay. It'll be okay," she dabs the cloth on your wrists, gently cleaning the wounds.

"I feel so empty, like- like I have nothing left," your head fell into her shoulder and she wrapped her hands around you.

"Look at me, I know you're hurting. I know this is hard but please, please just don't give up. If I lose you, I love myself baby," she cupped your cheeks.

"I'm sorry," you said sheepishly. "No. Don't apologise, you did nothing wrong. Please just talk to me next time Y/N," She hugs you again.

"I can't do this anymore-" before you could finish you sentence Hailee abruptly interrupted you.

"Stop. Don't say that. We're going to get through this together, okay?" She started unwrapping the cloth.

"Okay" you whispered. "Now let's go get you cleaned up and then we can talk properly about this," she began helping you up.

"Hailee?"

"Yes Y/N?"

"I love you, thank you... for everything. Please don't ever leave me," you looked up at her.

"I love you too Y/N. Im not going anywhere, I'm sticking with you through everything," she kissed the top of your head and smiled at you.

A/N- PLEASE READ!!

Im sorry if this chapter was triggering.
Please know that you are all vailed and loved.
I have struggled with SH a lot myself, I'm now 3 months clean, so I understand that it can be hard.
If you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to message me <3