bee duo (one shots book)

[broken]<angst>

tw:
-brief mention of exile
-breif mention of attempted suicide
-abandonment thoughts/issues
-mention of death
-menion of kidnapping
-self destructive behaviour

---

Tubbo had been hurt time and time again, his walls growing higher and thicker away from every new person he met.

Hell even more away from people close.

After seeing Tommy had supposedly commited suicide while in exile, his walls were literally undestructable.

No one could come in.

Sure there were a few people who were close, but no one close enough to scratch the surface. Hell even Ranboo was barely even close to getting in.

But...

As time passed on and Ranboo and Tubbo grew closer, Tubbo found his walls start breaking apart just for Ranboo. Ranboo's kindness and patience and understanding.. somehow made them slippery enough to slide in through his walls.

Comfort him enough from nightmares of fireworks hitting him and TNT blowing up the nation he cared about and all of the other shitty things he'd had to live through.

While he was with Ranboo, he grew more comfortable with them and he finally found someone to live for. He found someone he could lean on as a crutch when life got hard and that someone would encourage him to fight the world.

That someone gave him enough strength to keep on going and that someone was only getting closer and closer to who Tubbo truly was behind all of the walls he build up tall.

Tubbo was finally happy with someone in his life and was happy with the life he'd built with them.

Sure. Ranboo did things that Tubbo didn't really approve of, but.. Tubbo cared about Ranboo and Ranboo enjoyed these things like living with Techno and agreeing to work with Wilbur... It sucked, but Tubbo knew that Ranboo still had their faults. And he knew that was just who they were.

Tubbo never knew that he would miss that warm energy in his life until that warm energy went missing. Tubbo never knew just how close Ranboo was to finally reaching who he truly was until... Ranboo was taken from him.

Tubbo never knew how empty a house could feel without his husband or his son. How empty he could feel without either of them.

It left him broken.

Walls that had been let down were growing up once more. He started to pull himself away from society. Pull himself away from people he got close to.

He remembered why he had done it in the first place and while it was miserable as hell, it kept him safe. Little to no people close to him would mean less people he could get hurt by when they leave to. Everyone he's cared about has left and now.. he doesn't know how much longer he can take life teasing him with the fact.

He's trusted too much. He's leaned too much and they were taken. Everyone he cared about. They've all been taken. And finding out his son had been kidnapped...

That was the straw that broke the camels back.

Tubbo wasn't the type to cry or be in tune with touchy feely crap like his emotions. Being with Ranboo.. reminded him that it's okay to cry.. Soliders cry sometimes. Presidents cry sometimes.

Everyone needs a good cry and yet.. Tubbo only needed Ranboo's reassuring words that it's okay to finally let go of years worth of tears.

And now.. Tubbo needed to cry, but no tears would come.

There wouldn't be Ranboo who he could hug tightly and cry into. There wouldn't be Ranboo who always knew what to say. There wouldn't be Ranboo who had the most gentle of touches as they pet his back. There wouldn't be Ranboo who's affection came from how physical he was.

Who's affection came from buying Tubbo gifts to see him smile again. who's affection came from cheesy nights staring up at the constellations as Ranboo told lies of how they knew all of them - only for Tubbo to be the one who explained because Ranboo loved his voice...

There wouldn't be a Ranboo anymore. And Tubbo was losing hope that there would be a Michael...

Michael.

His and Ranboo's son.

The child who the pair absolutely adored. Who kept them both up late at night because he did what a toddler did best. Who would scream loud enough for the whole server to hear. Who had a smile that could brighten Tubbo's day.

Who was absolutely obsessed with his pet chicken and insisted on following Tubbo around when Ranboo was gone so Tubbo wouldn't get lonely...

Tubbo could remember the days Ranboo took Michael out to play in the snow and they both were so happy.

They all were happy.

And Tubbo took these memories for granted. He didn't think that his husband would be taken away with his last life gone and... his son kidnapped by god knows who.

And now having to work with the person who executed him more than a year later to hunt down his son because he was shit father for being gone for a little bit too long...

Too many regrets playing over and over in his head. How he has to stay stone faced because he can't risk showing his emotions anymore.

Tubbo's always associated bad things happening when he showed his emotions so it'll be best if he hid them again.

Until he could be a good father and find his son once again.

Explain to his son how papa isn't coming back home because someone murdered them in cold blood and pray that he doesn't break along the way.

So yeah.

Tubbo's walls have been built up even stronger than before. Because it's hard to live life when life tries to break your walls down...