Sham

12 :) Alex

The silence between us was deafening as fuck, the only sound in the car was the one from the radio. We were on our way back to school, yet I wasn't getting the reaction I expected from her. I thought she was gonna be filled with ecstasy since she wasn't gonna be seeing me every fucking minute again, but no, she isn't. Instead, she's been silent. She's been silent ever since she got back from the boutique with my mom yesterday. I only hope my mom didn't say anything to her.

"Everything okay over there with you Melanin?" I didn't look at her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable than she already is.

"Yeah." There's definitely something going on, Minah wouldn't ever allow me call me Melanin without reacting with either an eye roll or something else.

"Did my mom say anything to you?" I tried again, keep my tone as light as possible.

"No, why do you ask, Is she supposed to mention anything?"

"Just asking." I was going to let the issue go for now, because I know my mom had to mention something to make her suddenly go all quiet.

Minah slept mostly through the ride while I drove as steadily so as not to disturb her. We got back around mid evening since we left later than planned. "Thanks for helping me out." I said as she got off the car. We were already at her dormitory, and it feels weird being back here.

"You are welcome." she said with a tight lipped smile. My eyes roamed around her face and settled on her black eyes. Her eyes were as black as night, always having glints like stars in it. I shamelessly stared at her, not giving a fuck about anything at the moment. It's no secret I'm attracted to her, and I've made it known to her timelessly. The other night at my mom's place, when I saw her in shorts, all I could think of was wrapping her thighs around me, that was the reason I asked if she was done changing.

"I'm gonna head in now." she said, breaking eye contact and cutting into my thoughts.

"Ok." I sighed as she left, hoping this wouldn't make things awkward between us from now on.

The drive to my house isn't too far from Minah's dorm, just a few minutes away. When I got back home, Nate wasn't in so I shot him a message, informing him I'm back and we would meet at practice.

Ring Ring

"Dylan." I picked up at the second ring.

"Hey lil bro. Are you back?" I texted Dylan earlier today that I was leaving.

"Yeah. Just got back few minutes ago." I revealed. After my dad passed, Dylan became more of a parent to me than a brother. How he managed to shoulder my responsibility while he was still also in grief, I have no fucking idea. He was always the one who ended cleaning most of my mess while my mum was coping with her paintings. We evidently all have different coping mechanisms.

"How did it go?" He's well aware of the not-so-smooth relationship I have with my mom, he also knows how hard it was for me to get Minah to accompany me.

"It went well." I said simply, not wanting to go into long details.

"Any run in with anyone?" I ran my hands through my hair. There's no way I'd lie to D, he'd eventually find out one way or the other.

"Just Fred." I heard him sigh for the other end of the phone. D, just like my mom has been trying to help control my anger issues but that shit's been difficult as fuck. As first, it seemed like an impossible thing to do because then, even the therapies weren't helping, but now it's all good, I'm gradually getting the hang of it.

"Alex," he started. "I thought we agreed on making a smooth visit." Unlike me, D doesn't have anger issues like our dad. The both of us have striking similarities with our dad, but I'm the only one who got his anger problems.

"Yeah, but Fred was being a dick."

"When doesn't he act like one." he joked and I chuckled. "I take it things didn't escalate beyond repair right?"

"Yes. I had someone help me, Minah."

"Your fake girlfriend?" I could clearly hear the surprise in his voice.

"Yeah, surprisingly."

"It'd be nice to put a face to the name." I rolled my eyes at his not so subtle words.

"She works at the club, but she has no idea about me whatsoever."

"Want me to help you?"

"Fuck, no!" I yelled and he agreed. "She's easy to notice though, she stands out a lot. Black eyes, brown skin, short hair." I could go on all day describing her. I've come to learn more about her the few times we've spent together, her likes and dislikes, the constant cracking of her knuckles whenever she's nervous, and how she smiles prettily when she's shy.

"Is she the one you told Bob to give an off to?" He questioned.

"Yeah. How do you know about that?" I quizzed. The only way he'd be aware of that is only if he's back from his trip. "Are you back?"

"Yes. I left earlier than planned so I got back yesterday."

"Why didn't you come over then?" He would still have missed the exhibition, but he could have spent the next day with us at the very least.

"Didn't want to crash the mother-son reunion." he said nonchalantly and I cursed him out in my mind. "At least you guys managed not to kill each other." I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated words. Gone are the days when I barely tolerated my mom, now we are cool. Not cool enough to have an hour long conversation with her, but we are slowly getting there. The older I became, I've come to realize we all deal with grief differently even if her method wasn't the best.

"We are alright D." I said before continuing. "Dylan, please tell Bob not to question Minah." I reminded him. "I don't need her more uncomfortable than she already is."

"No shit Sherlock, I figured you wouldn't want her in a tight spot." he said and I pulled the roots of my hair. I have it really bad for her and I wasn't gonna deny it. The fact that I don't stand a chance with her doesn't mean I should stop myself from feeling more for her, I wasn't gonna do that. "I've gotta go Lil bro, say hi to Nate for me."

"Okay. Later D."

I slumped on the bed and tossed my phone to the side, thinking whether I should or shouldn't up my game with her. As much as a part of me would like to get together with her, the fear of losing my shit around her and scaring her away keeps making me scared as fuck. I'd rather have her around me as a friend, than make her frightened of me because of my greedy self.

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