Sham

19 :) Alex

I am fucking filled with uncontrollable rage, I needed to hit something, or preferably someone. After my last match with Austin, we had an argument before the fucker cowardly ran away. If it wasn't for the fact that Nate reminded me they were scouts around, I would have fucking gone after him.

I was still trying to get my shit together when Minah's call entered. At first, I debated on whether I shouldn't pick up but eventually I did, succumbing to the feeling of longing. Even if we haven't officially been together for long, I know few crucial things about her, like how she was quick to find out something was going on. No matter how persistent she tried to get me to talk, I didn't, more like I couldn't. The fact that I told her about my anger issues doesn't mean I feel proud talking about it with her, moreover I doubt she'd love to know how furious I was.

The next day, Minah dropped by my place after taking her family to the airport. Apparently, her cousins have school so they could only stay for a night before they left the second day. It was written all over she wanted to ask about what happened at the match, but she didn't ask. I couldn't help but be glad that she respects my privacy and trusts me to tell her at a more convenient time.

I spent more time at the ring the following few days, needing to release the pent up anger in me. I was doing great, slowly but surely getting rid of the fury that continuously burnt on mind, but that was until I saw Austin again. He was driving down in his beat up truck just as I came out of the gym. I was training overtime at the school since few people were still left in the building. Nate wasn't in, he had to leave during classes for a family emergency.

"Hey, asshole!" He yelled, driving slowly beside me. Austin and I have an history, his dad and my dad were rivals, being in different teams and all, and now it may seem like history is about to repeat itself.

"Pussy." I muttered under my breath, ignoring him. I've played this game too many times with him than I'd like, he'd approach me, rile me up, then run away. Austin is a dick, no doubt about that, and he also loves to play dirty. Sometimes, he takes steroids before his match, but he's never tried that with me, the asshole knows not to fuck with me. Most team knows about it, but they prefer to keep quiet about it, some even go as far as telling their fighters to give in, thereby granting him a fake win.

"What, did your mom tell you not to talk to strangers so you wouldn't end up like your dad?" He said smugly before driving off. I folded my hands tightly by my side, no one gets to talk about my dad like that, or even my mom. The fact that we don't get along so well doesn't mean I love her any less. No matter how hard I tried to control myself, it's not working. It's like all my previously felt anger just resurfaced. This won't do, the only place in mind right now is the Underground. I would have gone back in to the gym instead, but fighting without following the rules can get me in serious trouble and I doubt I can follow such rules right now.

I hadn't gotten to where Rex was parked when Nate's call entered. "What!" I hissed. I knew I shouldn't have done that to Nate, not when his sister had an asthma attack and is lying down on the hospital bed, but I couldn't help it.

"Allison is alright." he started, not minding my tone. If it was any other person, I trust they would have ended the call the moment I yelled, but not Nate, he knows me well enough to figure out something must have been wrong for me to respond in that manner. "What's going on?" He said tiredly. I could imagine how he's feeling, just like Dylan and I, Nate and his sister have a very strong bond, and he's always been an overprotective brother because of her asthma crisis.

"Austin. The fucker dropped by." I didn't need to say much, Nate's well aware of how much of a dick Austin is.

"I'm guessing he acted like a dick." he said and I stayed quiet. "Alex, don't do anything stupid." he continued, taking my silence as a confirmation that I indeed wanted to act crazy.

"Look Nate, I gotta go." I got into Rex and brought him to life.

"Alex, don't fucking go to the Underground. You know you have eyes on you now more than ever." I ran my hands through my frustrated. Nate hasn't seized to keep reminding me I have scouts on the lookout for me.

"I fucking know that!" I end the call, my voice an octave higher. Being told what not to do and what to do repeatedly can be batshit annoying.

My first year in college was the worst, it felt like my life was about to end. I took my dad's death the worst way, losing my shit every chance I get. I almost didn't want to go to college, but I did with Dylan's and Nate's help. That was also when Dy decided to get me into Therapy. It was hard at first, Dy always had to go with me. He'd always wait outside for me till I was done with my session. It wasn't until I was okay with going alone did he stop, and even at that, he's always making sure I'm okay.

But that fucker has been getting on my nerves. No matter how hard I try to write down what I'm feeling, or how long I talk to Dr Nico about it, I can't seem to stop that burning rage from taking control of my mind.

The ride down to the Underground didn't take long seeing as all I could see was red. I was on autopilot all through as I drove and got there. This was one of the few moments I didn't pay attention to how Rex was parked.

"Alex, my man." Hermès pat me on the back. "It's been a while since I saw you last." he continued. Hermès was the one running Underground, the one who fixes the match. Nothing goes unnoticed by him, the guy is always vigilant seeing as he has many other illegal businesses, this one included.

"Didn't think I'd see you today." Hermès said, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"Yeah." I said detached.

"Would you go up now? Big bull should be done soon." He motioned to the guy on the ring who was flexing his abs, making the crowd roar louder. As if on cue, barely three minutes later, Big bull knocked his opponent out, emerging as the winner.

"You are up next" he said, ordering someone to get me gloves. "I'm betting my money on you, I trust you'd make a good comeback." he said with a crooked smile. Hermès is one of the most greedy people I've come across, even with all the money he gets on the matches, he never seems to be satisfied.

During the times I visited Underground often with Nate, in any game I'm fixed in, he always bet on me. Nate never liked coming here, always complaining on how illegal and uncomfortable the place made him, he mostly just came to make sure I get back home in one piece.

As I stepped into the ring, I felt the adrenaline rush run through me. I saw few familiar faces as I ascend the step, feeling some sense of nostalgia.

I know few people at Underground who remain here solely for the money. As much of a dick Hermès is, he strongly believe in fair play. Fighting with any means is allowed here, the only thing is for you to win so you'd get the money. Most times when I come here, unlike the rest of the fighters, I don't come here to win, I mostly come to release some steam, and that's what I'm here for today also, to free my mind.

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