Sham

15 :) Aminah

The first familiar face I saw as I made it to the party was Jen's and I made my way to her. "Finally, you made it." she breathe out.

"I did Jen, you already knew I was coming." I rolled my eyes at her. I wasn't kidding when I said she can exaggerate. "How is the party going?" I asked, gazing around at the whole place. I saw Jen roll her eyes at me from the corner of my eyes.

"More like where is he?" She said mockingly. She wasn't gonna let her fantasy about us being a couple go. "Its been a while since I saw him. Last time I checked, he was there with some of his friends." she pointed East, urging me to go on ahead since he's the reason I came. I wasn't gonna lie about that, if he hadn't asked me to, I wouldn't have come. Instead, I'd be at Highlights, working another shift.

"Okay."

"Would you be ok on your own?" She yelled against the loud music. I didn't go to many parties, but the few I went to, I went with Jen and we most times stick together.

"Yeah, I will." I need to mentally prepare myself for what to say to him if he's really down like Jen said. If it was every other day, I wouldn't have given a single fuck about how he's feeling, but I gave him my word I would be there.

I made my way through the wild students. Our school takes great pride in boxing. It's safe to say they don't excel in many sports so whenever they win a match, they all come together to celebrate. Each time, a boxer volunteers to host the party at his place. Now that I'm mentioning it, I don't think Alex has ever hosted a party at his place.

After searching for him for minutes, I saw him in a corner around the room with a half finished beer in his hand. The cut of his lips and head has been cleaned up, and he has a bandage wrapped around his right finger and wrist. "Hey stranger" I said using his word back to him. He looked at me, a hint of smile on his face, and I wondered if it was because I'm using his word back to him, or because I made it.

"I'm sorry I came late, I couldn't find a way to get off work early." He looked up at me as I bent down to meet his eye level. "See, I even drove Rex back in one piece." I jingled them keys in his eyes and he couldn't fight back his smile from showing.

"Apology accepted." He pat his side for me sit. I don't know if it's my illusion, but I think his whole demeanor became brighter as I sat beside him. I don't know when, but somehow, I felt Alex link his hands absentmindedly with mine. I looked at him and found out he wasn't even aware of his actions so I kept mute. I still am not sure of what it is I feel for him, but I know for a fact I like the feeling of having him close to me. But then again, I feel like whenever I try to diffuse and define our relationship, he goes ahead to make to make it complicated, just like now.

All through the party, whenever I tried to leave his side, he would pull me back asking where I was going, acting all protective and warm. Even when I tried to give him space so he could have fun with his friends, he didn't let me, saying he'd choose me over his friends in a million years, giving me another mixed signal.

As much as I was loving every bit of the undivided attention, my bladder wasn't. "Alex, I need to go pee." I tell him, freeing myself from his hold.

"Okay, would you be alright on your own, or should I tell someone to follow you?" He said, referring to one of his buddies girlfriend.

"It's fine, there's no need. I'll be back before you know it." I wasn't a convo to parties, but he doesn't know that probably because I avoided most parties I knew he would be there.

"Ok." Needing to do my thing in the bathroom real quick, I made a beeline to the bathroom and relieved myself. I was still washing my hands when I felt someone presence behind me.

"You know he's mine right?" I looked up through the window and saw Cassidy behind me. Cassidy is one of Alex's minions, and apparently his regular fuck. Everyone at school knows that, it's no secret that the two of them have been going on and off since freshman year.

"I don't know why you would bother thinking you have a chance with him, I thought you two hated each other. I'm pretty sure he would dump you when he's done with you like he does. We both know he's coming back to me. Don't think you have a chance with him just because he gave you his sweatshirt to wear, you know there's nothing special in that." I'm not the type who deals with confrontations well, so most times I tend to ignore situations that leads to it. I looked at her through the mirror, her last statement taking me aback. How did she manage to know I was the one wearing his sweatshirt, I didn't think anyone would recognize me after wearing a hat over my face.

"I never pegged you as that type of lady, but then again, you never truly know people." she continued even though I didn't respond to her. Trading words with her would only drag this out more than necessary. "A word of advice to you, let him be and stop forcing yourself on him." I turned around as she said that, her words hitting a spot. I've always had a knack for making myself willing to others, to make them comfortable and not inconvenient them in any way because of me. That's one of the reasons I'm working part time to support my Aunt, so she wouldn't be bothered for having to take care of me. Hearing that I'm forcing myself on him just made me feel bad.

On the day my parents died, they weren't supposed to go out. We had plans of going out to get ice cream but somehow, they were both called in for work. They had planned to take me out to the newly opened park back at my country since it was their day off. I remember how hard I begged them that day, I begged them not to leave, but they did, saying they had to go and would get me a life sized teddy on their way back. That was the last I saw them. Since then, I've always tried to make myself adapt to every situation I find myself in, looking for ways to not inconvenient others even if that's at the expense of myself.

I took a deep breath and calmed down, reminding myself I wasn't the reason my parents died. Shakily but carefully, I made my way out as I heard Cassidy talk after me. "Don't you fucking walk out on me, I'm not done with you," I stiffed my heart, like that would lessen the effect of whatever it is she had to say next. As I opened the door, I was met with a confused looking Nate. "Is everything okay?" I didn't bother answering him as I walked past him, needing to get some fresh air. I didn't bother listening to what he said to her, I went back out to the party. At this moment, my solitude would totally be preferred, but I'd rather stay here than let my past define the present.

"Minah, what's wrong?" Alex diverted his full attention from the drunk jenga he was playing to me. I was about to wave him off when Nate strolled over to my side and asked "Did she hurt you?"

"What's going on?" Alex looked at Nate for answers. "Who hurt her?" He continued.

"I saw Cassidy coming out of the bathroom after Aminah, and she didn't look too good at the moment." Nate glanced at me for sureness.

"It's alright, it's nothing I haven't heard."

"What do you mean by that, does she say things to you?" He asked. Nate left after seeing Alex was already handling the whole situation.

"It's nothing serious, just normal girls bitching about things to theirselves." I wasn't ready to dive into details of what Cassidy actually said since I know there's some truth to what she said. I'm not denying about how I feel towards him, but I have no idea if he feels even a fraction of it towards him, who knows if our relationship is purely platonic to him whilst I'm here thinking about it the wrong way.

What if all I am to him is just another one of the many flavors he'd like to have a taste of. "Minah, what did she say?" He pressed and I looked at him dubiously, wondering why he's bent on knowing what she said. Is he worried she's told me the reason he's been hanging out with me?

"Minah?"

"Alex just drop it." I snapped at him, going out to get some fresh air. I breathed in the cool air, needing to sort out my thoughts before it combusts within me.

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