FOREST AVE » charlie baker

15 - that's going to leave a mark

Charlie's eyes wandered away from me, as I had called out on his behavior. However, I was looking directly at him, wanting to finally find out the truth.

''You kind of hurt me, Charlie. Disappearing like that. I wanted to call and text you, I wanted to hear from you... I waited so long for something. I had practically given up on the idea of you standing under my window and calling for me,'' I said but Charlie wasn't looking at me still.

Waiting for a response, I felt my legs starting to move slightly. It was hard to stand there and not hear a response.

''All right, let's get Mark,'' I said coldly and began walking faster.

To my surprise and disappointment, Charlie didn't call after me. He simply kept running beside me, calling out his brother and pointing the light in all directions.

I felt stupid for having told him. Of course, I hadn't really revealed my feelings, something that I was grateful for. As we rushed down the street, running closer and closer to the Elementary School, I felt my lungs starting to hurt.

I stopped again and tried catching my breath. I wiped my forehead and turned away from Charlie.

''Do you see something?'' Charlie's voice asked from behind.

I saw his shadow come closer to me on the pavement.

''No, just needed to catch my breath,'' I replied, still breathing heavily. ''you can go on without me. I'll look here.''

''No, I'm staying with you,'' Charlie said immediately, his tone serious. ''I don't want to lose you somewhere here.''

I felt a laugh wanting to escape me. Not because what Charlie had said was anything close to funny but because of the way he had worded it. I felt like I had lost him already.

''Yeah, well...'' I began but was lost for words. ''let's just go again.''

''No, let's catch our breaths. I- I really don't think he's at school. He hates it there and I doubt he'd want to go there,'' Charlie explained and walked up closer to me.

I looked up at him, meeting his concerned look.

''I feel like all of you guys hate this place...'' I said, still looking at Charlie.

Charlie's lips slightly frowned.

''I guess we weren't ready to go someplace new like this,'' he replied.

''So you wanted to go to your old home instead?''

''Well, of course, we did,''

''No, I mean about you specifically,'' I said, giving a small scoff and turning my eyes away.

Charlie swallowed and scratched his neck.

''I wanted to take you with me, Nat,'' he said after a small pause. ''I wanted to go back, see the place with you. I didn't want it to be a sorrowful visit but it ended up being so. I fought with dad and then just went to my car and drove off.''

''You wanted to take me?'' I asked, my tone still telling just how upset I was.

''I wanted to show you where I lived and... just walk around with you- Nat, I still want to!'' Charlie said, his voice starting to become tenser.

Opposite to before, I felt speechless instead of Charlie.

''But... why did you... why did you have to ignore me all this week? Do you know how shitty that felt?"

''I had all this stupid stuff happening around me! I felt shitty myself and didn't want to throw that onto you,'' Charlie said.

''How does that make sense? If we're friends then we share both about our success and mistakes. All that stupid stuff!'' I replied.