the luckiest • han jisung ✓

fifteen

Have you ever heard the saying, if you really like someone it's better to just stay as friends?

Well, that's how she feels.

It was during high school, when she was in her eighth grade. That was when she realized how deep she fell for her best friend.

She liked him so much to the point that she would wake up early to get ready and silently used her sister's perfume before going to school. To the point that whenever it's just the two of them, she couldn't hear anything other than her racing heartbeats.

One day, she decided to ask Jisung about it after the two of them watched a best friend-to-lover movie. The timing was just great.

And Jisung, who realized his feelings way more earlier, gave a stupid answer that he still regrets even until this day.

He was afraid he would get caught.

"That won't work in real life. I don't want to lose a friendship because of those stupid feelings called love."

After giving much thought, she eventually agreed with his answers and decided to erase her feelings.

Staying as friends would always be better.

The moment he regretted his answer the most was when she ran up to him after school with a huge grin plastered on her face.

"I got a boyfriend!"

His world crumbled down as those words left her lips.

He thought to himself that if he was being honest with his feelings, would things be different? Instead of watching her being in another's arms, would it be his?

But he quickly brushed the thought off as he was convinced that he just never stands a chance in the first place.

As for Ae Ra, she really felt something during her past relationships, she never used them to forget her feelings towards Jisung. But rather than liking them, it was more like she enjoyed their company. And she mistook it for more than it.

The only one she ever liked and likes is her best friend, Han Jisung.

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Ae Ra stretched her arms out after finishing one of the homework she had.

She couldn't understand how the teacher still gave them a lot of homework despite the upcoming school exhibition that they also needed to prepare.

Perhaps because only those who joined the club needed to prepare it?

Whatever. It's not like their teacher would lessen their homework if all students participated in preparing the exhibition.

Ae Ra threw herself at her bed, laying on her stomach. Glancing at the windows, she let out a sigh. The weather outside was nice. A total contrast to how she was feeling.

Though she still has a lot of unfinished work to do, finishing one of it had already drained her energy off.

A little nap won't hurt, right?

The girl lazily walked to the windows. Her arms reached to the curtains, about to shut it but stopped when she spotted Jisung inside his room, playing with Bbama.

The corner of her lips curved up, seeing he laughed merrily.

She panicked when he suddenly looked in her direction. Instead of shutting the curtains, she pulled at it harshly, making the curtains fall from the hanger and land on the floor.

Ae Ra acted like nothing happened and made her way to her bed, not even sparing him a glance. She pulled the blanket over her as she buried her face at her pillow and screamed, drowned in embarrassment.

It's been a week since she last spoke to him.

He did try to talk to her but she wasn't responding to any of it. She didn't know how to. The words refused to come out of her mouth.

Ae Ra didn't know how to act around him anymore.

He kept convincing her that it was okay.

That it wasn't her fault.

That she could just act like nothing happened.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not after what she did to him.

She kicked the blanket away and grabbed her wallet from the nightstand.

Staying inside her room only suffocated her even more, so she decided to take a walk outside and bought some ice creams to relieve her stress.

When she arrived at the convenience store, she quickly made her way to the freezer. Before she could grab her favorite ice cream, someone suddenly called her name. Ae Ra slid the glass back before turning to face the caller.

Oh, it's her ex.

"Ha Min?"

He approached her. "How are you?"

"Fine." She showed him a small smile.

"Doesn't seem like it." She raised her eyebrow at his statement. "Is it about you and Jisung?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"I heard someone talk about it." He sighed. "You two were always together, so it's obvious that there's something wrong."

Right. She almost forgot that they were in the same school. Their classes were on different floors which made them rarely bump into each other.

"Why are you ignoring him?"

"Why are you assuming it like that?"

Ha Min chuckled lightly. "You were always like Jisung this, Jisung that...It feels like I know him personally, you know." He paused. "I don't think he would be able to ignore you, so it must be the vice versa. Am I wrong?"

Ae Ra looked down. He was right.

"I don't know exactly what the problem is but I don't think ignoring him is a good idea." He smiled at her. Hearing that, she looked up. Of course she knows, Jisung doesn't deserve to be treated like this. But she needed more time.

"Just like how you always brag at me that your friendship with him is something that you treasure the most, don't let it slip off your hands."

And when the time comes, she hopes it won't be too late.

A single tear escaped from her eye without her realizing it.

She flinched a bit when he used his thumb to wipe her tears. "Did you even cry when we broke up?"

The question was left unanswered as she noticed a familiar figure standing at the entrance. She quickly wiped the tears that were blurring her vision. The girl took two steps backward when their eyes met.

Jisung was staring at them from afar.

When the boy realized that he was caught staring, he turned his back then walked away from the store.

"Thank you for your advice. I'll get going now." Ae Ra talked rather in a rush before sprinting out of the store.

She could feel the disappointment filling herself when she couldn't find him around.

Kicking a small stone that happened to be in her way, she tried to ignore the weird feeling of having to explain about what he saw in the store.