One String Attached

17.

.Riley.

"Liyah?" I call out to her as I enter the playroom she and her cousin were playing in.
At the sound of my voice, Madison lifts her head up at the same time as my daughter does and I smile at them both, standing by the doorway before leaning against it and crossing my arms over my chest.
I smile softly when I see they were playing with their Barbie dolls, and then my eyes land on Madi.

"Hello, Auntie Ri!" she squeals, rushing over to hug me. I chuckle, bending down to hug her for a moment but Aaliyah stays put in her position on the floor.
"Hey, sweetie. I need to speak with Aaliyah for a minute, why don't you head downstairs and get something to eat, okay?" I tell her.
She smiles, nodding her head before dropping the Barbie doll she had in her hand onto the floor and then rushing down the stairs to find her mother. 

The moment she leaves, I look towards my daughter and sigh, bending down to her height.
"Why don't we go for a walk, baby? Just me and you," I tell her.
She doesn't say anything but nods her head, giving me that small bit of hope as she stands up on her two feet and gives me her hand, making me smile softly as I hold it and begin to lead her down the stairs.

We come across James as he was busy talking to his brother in the kitchen. He looks over towards me questioningly, gesturing for me to come over but once he acknowledges the fact that Aaliyah was by my side, he exhales.
I point towards the door to let him know we were going for a walk and then he nods his head, pointing towards the left side of his chest with his index finger before then going onto pointing at me. I smile and do the same back.
It was our way of saying we loved each other from afar. Though the deeper meaning was our saying: 'my heart is yours'. It had been like that since the night of our wedding where both of us were being pulled every which way so we had to communicate across the room.

Leaving the house, I keep a hold of Liyah's hand as we start walking down the streets. At first it was silent and she wasn't saying a word. She looked down at the ground, her eyes fixated on the crooked pavement we walked along.
She was in the same denim shorts I had advised her to not wear because of the weather but of course she had to go ahead and disobey me. Clearly, she was cold since the thin hairs on her legs were sticking up but I knew now was not the time to tell her off about it.

"Look, sweetheart . . ." I speak up after a few minutes of walking. We get to a small little path down a park and I sit myself down on the nearest bench before pulling her close to me as she sits herself down by my side.
She remains silent but I knew she was listening.
"I know it's hard for you to understand because you're still so young, lovely. But sometimes children are lucky enough to have two fathers. Sometimes they're so lucky that both of their dads decide to stay but other times you only get the one dad. Some people don't have any dads at all so you're beyond lucky to have a daddy."

Again, she says nothing at all, just leans her head on my shoulder. An elderly woman passes me, having heard a small part of my speech and so she sends me a warm smile before continuing to walk-by, leaving me alone with my daughter once again.

"There's a difference between fathers and dads, angel," I whisper to her. "You can have multiple fathers. Loads of them. And they can have multiple children. But a dad is someone who's been there no matter what and you see Daddy everyday, that's how you know he's your dad."
"That's not what Violet says," she mumbles, and I sigh, shaking my head.
"I'm your mother, Aaliyah. Sometimes you need to listen to me, okay."
"Okay," she mumbles, but then says nothing else.

. . . 

Later that day, James and I were sat outside. Everyone else was inside right now and it was getting close to the evening. It was nice to have spent the day with James's side of the family but I couldn't really savour it, considering the whole atmosphere.
Asher was still fast asleep but this time in his grandmother's arms. Aaliyah was baking cookies with Madison, Grace and Nathan accompanying them, but James and I were sat rocking ourselves on the sofa-swing-set. 

"I don't know what else to say to her," I whisper as we rock ourselves back and forth. I brush my hair out of the way of my face and turn my head around to face him. "I mean, I spoke to her but I know she doesn't understand."
"There's nothing else you can say to her, Ri. She's a growing girl, okay. You just have to let life happen."
"Did Nathan tell you that or is that your words?" I ask him teasingly.

He rolls his eyes at me before throwing his arms over my shoulders, pulling me into him. I sigh and close my eyes as he pecks the top of my head.
"We'll deal with it, okay. I promise you."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, babe," I whisper to him as I breathe out. He shakes is head, shaking my body subtly as he caresses my shoulders.
"It's a good thing I'm not going to break this one then," he tells me.

Playfully, I roll my eyes but say nothing else. I just needed a moment's silence to process everything because right now everything seemed to be jumbled up in my mind and my brain was on the verge of not being able to function properly.