One String Attached

97.

.James.

I wasn't expecting Riley to talk to me at all but I would have at least hoped she would have informed me of her plans for tonight.
Instead she left me to have to find out on my own when I entered our room a couple hours after we had returned home from the adventure park.

I I found her sat by the vanity, applying a set of makeup to her face while she wore a white mini crop top with a skirt, making up her two piece outfit.
She wore a pair of pearl earrings I had brought for her birthday three years ago and as I looked over her, I bit my lip, leaning against the wall of the room.

She glances over at me through the reflection of the mirror while she smeared her lip gloss over her lips but she said nothing.
I swallow and drop my arms by my sides. "You look nice," I mumble.

Nice. I never used that word with her.
She looked beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. But it feels as though she doesn't belong to me anymore and I hate that feeling.

She doesn't respond to the compliment but stands up on her feet and smoothed her clothing out so there were no creases.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

She seemed to shut down every attempt I made in trying to make conversation with her and my head was telling me to hate her for it, but my heart just couldn't. She wasn't in the wrong. I was.
"Out with Grace."

I raise an eyebrow, because based off of what Grace had told me earlier, she had tried to invite Ri on a night out but she kept declining.
I don't know what's changed her mind.

My best guess would be that she originally invited her on a night out with the four of us as a double date but Riley refused to spend time with me so intimately.
If that was the case, I couldn't say I blamed her.

"She's picking me up in five."
She stands up and turns around to face me. Our eyes land on each other and I shake my head as I looked over her.

She found out I had cheated over six months ago and she forgave me then. But now she knows the problem and suddenly things have gone from being perfect between us to disastrous?
I know Whitney was bad but I didn't think she would have the power to destruct my marriage the way she has.

"Riley, I can't do this. I'm not doing this, okay?" I say to her, making her frown.
I shut the door behind me to stop the kids from entering and I quickly walk over to her so I was stood directly in front of her, our toes touching.

I don't touch her physically but it doesn't stop my eyes from looking all over her. Every crevice of her skin, every shade of her irises, every curve of her body. All of her.

"I love you," I say to her.

She looks away instantly so I move with her. I don't let her avoid eye contact with me. I need her to look into my eyes so she knows how much I truly do adore her.

"And that's why I can't do this. I can't just stop talking to you. I can't come home everyday only to not speak to you. I can't keep lying to our children and have them think we're okay when we're not. I can't sleep in the same bed as you without being able to kiss you goodnight. You're my girl, Riley. You've always been mine and I'm not just going to let Whitney ruin that."

"That's not what you were saying when you went ahead and did whatever you did with her," she responds, moving to sit down on the edge of the desk.

I look over her and I shake my head. "No, it wasn't."

I move my hand to her knee and it takes her by surprise but I don't let her begin to overthink it. Otherwise she would have pushed me away again.

"It was the alcohol in my brain talking. It wasn't my head or my heart. If it had been, I never would have done it, Ri. If it was truly me who cheated on you, I wouldn't have stayed. I would have left but I kept going for you. I stayed for you. I've always been here supporting the children because of you. I married you because I love you."

She decides not to speak but that was okay. I didn't need her to say a single word, I just needed to have my piece said and for her to listen to it with full intent.

"I was used and taken advantage of the same way Bryson took advantage of you. I was in a vulnerable state and she saw that and used it to her advantage.

I stop to look into her eyes to see if she believed me.
She was definitely listening, but I don't think she was about to accept any of what I had to say. Not even the truest details.

"Please, sweetheart," I whisper, the name causing her to close her eyes, her lips quivering when she does so.
She was trying not to cry but that gave me a little bit of hope. I was slowly getting through to her and the effects of my words were showing. "Believe me, okay? I'm telling you the truth. I love you. I'm in love with you, not Whitney."

It all came down to love in the end. The decision was in her corner and whatever she chose would be based on love.
It would be based on how much she loves me, how much she loves the children, and how much she loves the idea of us as a family. It's all she's ever wanted. A loving family.

A car pulls up in the driveway and Riley opens her eyes to look up at me.
I look down at her with hope, wanting her to say something. Anything. I want her to say okay. To whisper something. To hold my hand. To kiss me.

"James, I just..." she whispers. She's trying to form words but she can't. It's too much for her so I take it upon myself to do something for her instead.
I lean in and I bring my lips to meeting hers before she pulls away less than a second later.

"I love you," she mumbles, moving her hand to my chest.

My eyes light up but the look on her face causes them to darken again, especially after hearing her next set of words.
"But I just can't just yet. I need to think."

The car outside beeps loudly and it causes us to break apart.
Riley jumps off the desk and grabs her jacket and handbag, fixing her hair and makeup so it looked like she hadn't just been crying in front of me.

"I need to go. I'm sorry," she says before walking around me and leaving the room, leaving me with a broken heart in the middle of the bedroom we last made love in.

And now that love was slowly crumbling. Bit by bit...